The Telefile

Top Model Shocker: Paulina Gets Fired

by Angel Cohn May 13, 2009 11:17 am
<i>Top Model</I> Shocker: Paulina Gets Fired

We've long thought that Paulina Porizkova was too good for America's Next Top Model, but now the show has decided that they don't need her. On Craig Ferguson's show last night, she was there in theory to promote the season finale of the show, but told him that she was really in Los Angeles because she was looking for a job. "I was fired by America's Next Top Model on my birthday. They timed it well," she said. "The reason I was told I was fired was because, it seemed, that America's Next Top Model has gotten too fat and they needed to cut some fat and the fat was me." What?! "So I figured it was either that or my gigantic huge ego," she continued. "Which I wasn't aware of until I was told by the producers that I have an ego problem." We're guessing that it wasn't so much that she had a huge ego, but that someone else (namely Tyra Banks) had a huge ego and couldn't deal with the competition. It can't be a coincidence how frequently this show loses their ex-model judges. And how else do you really explain why the show would get rid of the most competent person on the panel? I guess competency isn't really a big concern on a series where judges coo their critiques in bird talk.

I am certainly going to miss Paulina's critiques as she's got a biting wit and pulls no punches when telling girls that they are too fat, too short, too old or even that they look too dead. Her humor was on display in full force during her segment on Ferguson's show: When the host asked her how working with Tyra was because he thinks she's a barrel of laughs, Paulina dryly replied, "I am sure she can be." Awesome -- not actually bashing her former boss, but not exactly kind either. Love it. She also said that she wasn't picky about jobs, and she even wouldn't mind working at Starbucks as a barista (she acknowledged their good health benefits). Much as I'd like to get a freshly brewed Chai Tea Latte from Paulina, I think she can do better. In fact, here's a list of potential jobs on television that she'd be well-suited for.

Celebrity Apprentice
Earlier this week, I wrote that I'd love to see her on the next season as part of our dream cast. Now that rings doubly true. She could deftly handle Trump after dealing with the likes of Miss J. Alexander and Tyra, and I'd happily buy cupcakes from her. See, her Starbucks skills could come in handy... and she'd be on TV.

Charm School
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Ricki Lake as the headmistress on the current season of Charm School, but these VH1 train wrecks really need a stronger hand to keep them in line. That's where Paulina could come in. She wouldn't put up with any of the BS or phony tears, she'd tell them to suck it up and look like a lady while doing it.

Make Me a Supermodel
Its a no-brainer for her to transfer from one show to the next, and she'd be much nicer to look at than Marlon.

The Biggest Loser
Instead of the nicey-nice Alison, it would be great to see Paulina weigh in these contestants. She could teach them fun facts, like how the 100 pounds they've lost is more than a working model weighs, or how they'd still be considered plus-size at a size 8. Plus, she and Jillian on the same show would be mind-blowingly awesome.

Dancing With the Stars
Yes, she was already on this way back in season four, but she only lasted one episode. We'd love to see her get a second chance to show she could loosen up at little. And she demonstrated that she could do a mean samba last week on Top Model. Maybe this time around she'd go far.

A Beautiful Life
If this Mischa Barton CW series about modeling and the fashion world gets picked up for fall, Paulina would be a natural fit. Sure, they've already got Elle McPherson on their roster, but they should be able to make a little space for Paulina.

American Idol
Let's get rid of Kara, since all she seems to do is talk about how the singers look and how they could be packaged as an artist. Paulina could step in with some real opinions and actual critiques that mean something. Plus: She's been married to the Cars' Ric Ocasek for 20 years, so she must know more than a few things about the music world.

Really, anything is better than her working in the food industry.




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