Show Status Notes

Jack & Bobby

Permanent Hiatus

It’s the story of two brothers, one of whom grows up to be President of the United States. Interesting in theory, yes, but excruciatingly slow in execution. Speaking of execution, most viewers wished fervently that Christine Lahti, as the boys’ mother, would be sent to the electric chair, as her endless preachy, screechy monologues made each already action-free episode grind to a pretentious halt. Not even the charms of Bradley Cooper could save this show from impeachment.

Jack & Jill

Permanent Hiatus

The non-madcap non-adventures of singles in the city left us non-tingling. But Jack (that’s the girl — geddit?) and Jill (that’s the boy — geddit? GEDDIT?) live on right here, non-chemistry and all.

Jake 2.0

Permanent Hiatus

Produced by a Buffy veteran and starring a former cast member of Popular, Jake 2.0 was all set to be a cult classic. Adorable, rumpled, Gen-X star? Check. A highly protected secret government agency for a backdrop? Check. Sexy and ethnic superiors to said adorable rumpled star? Double check. Lots of ideas about nanotechnology? Heeey…now it’s getting weird! Add a punk-cum-coffeehouse rock sound track, a love interest or two, and seeecret nano-powers, and you have a very cool show that no one watched. But we loved J2. And we’re still waiting for that free DVD from UPN.

Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency

Permanent Hiatus

So Janice Dickinson finally got her own reality show, in which we followed her as she opened her own “modeling agency.” The show had high points, including Janice jumping into a fountain in a couture dress and really pissing off the designer, Janice falling off of a chair, Janice wearing an eye patch, and lots and lots of partial nudity on the part of Janice’s models. The rest of it was, honestly, kind of boring.


Permanent Hiatus

And so after all that, CBS still ended up killing it. Nuts!

Jersey Shore

Permanent Hiatus

They came, they saw, they tanned. America may never recover.

Joan of Arcadia

Permanent Hiatus

You’d think that a show starring God would be immune to cancellation. You’d be wrong. Joan of Arcadia followed a sixteen-year-old girl who reluctantly accepted the awesome responsibility of talking to God, and the ensuing wacky and wonderful results. It was different, and endearing, and thought-provoking, and occasionally cheesy, and most of us loved the Girardis and their friends. And dear God, how Deborah loved the Girardis’ house. But in the second season, the show was plagued by weak writing, low ratings, flagging critical support, and stupid-ass stunt casting, and CBS decided to bring in Jennifer Love Hewitt’s big guns instead. The recapper will be forced to get her Craftsman bungalow fix elsewhere.

Joe Millionaire

Permanent Hiatus

The first season was pretty awesome. Bread baggage! The fight for the best dress! The slurping in the bushes! Then, by their own admission, FOX executives got greedy and went for a second season, which committed the deadly reality-show sin of being incredibly dull. Joe Millionaire is no more.

John Doe

Permanent Hiatus

Who is John Doe? Apparently, no one really cares.

John From Cincinnati

Permanent Hiatus

It’s an HBO drama from David Milch packed with the auteur’s flowery dialogue, some great performances from our old Deadwood friends — hello, Dayton Callie, Jim Beaver, and Garret Dillahunt — some even greater performances from Brian Van Holt and Ed O’Neill, and some pretty choice surfing. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing much — except for the Milch part. The show’s creator opted to depart from the conventional narrative approach of making a lick of sense in favor of ten episodes filled with mumbo-jumbo and prattle. After one season, John From Cincinnati found itself caught in HBO’s undertow and sucked out to sea.

Judging Amy

Permanent Hiatus

Will Amy ever realize she’s not the center of the cosmos? Will Maxine ever just crack and bitch-slap her daughter? Will Vincent ever break through the fourth wall and whisk Jessica off to the Cayman Islands for some red hot loving? Maybe. But you won’t read about it on Television Without Pity.

Just Legal

Permanent Hiatus

This show was a wreck from the first fifteen seconds of the pilot, and it only got worse from there. It seemed like a sure thing: Sonny Crockett and Doogie Howser as an odd couple of attorneys. Unfortunately, the promise ended at the premise. With leaden dialogue, incoherent editing, and plots borrowed from the final season of Hunter, Just Legal was, ultimately, Barely Watchable.





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