Zero Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Herons & Hi-Tops
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Hank's wife was kidnapped after she bought a random clock at the flea market, which was quite the coincidence considering that this particular random clock -- which was not kidnapped along with her, despite being the reason she was kidnapped -- contained a magic diamond that led him to his own dead body in a Nazi sub in Canada. Turns out the Rosicrucians nominated a new set of Apostles in the 1930s, including a Nazi commandant who was also, somehow, Hank -- the better to either start or stop the Nazi Apocalypse through the creation and hiding of clocks, which lead to these New Apostles, who in turn have more clocks (and as we'll see, sundry other timepieces) that lead to yet more clocks and eventually a Thing that is a secret but it seems will "render God irrelevant." At Zero Hour, the Apocalypse will either start or stop -- or possibly it is already happening, clocks or no clocks -- but none of this is very important to Hank, who just wants to get his wife back.


When we last left Hank and Beck, they were chilling out at the Nazi sub, wondering just what the heck was going on. Beck snags a diary from the Nazi Hank -- but not the watch he's carrying -- as an obfuscatory Rosicrucian voices incomprehensibly over: "One is the number of Man. One is the number of You. But sometimes One is not One, sometimes One is Two."

Hank: "White Vincent! How weird to run into you here, at my dead Nazi body. I'm sure you have business inside that submarine, but first can you tell me if you've killed my wife yet? Apparently, I just have to believe."
White Vincent, verbatim: "So how does it feel to look upon yourself, Hank? It's like the insides of your head sort of break apart, don't they? Understand this, when I execute you, it will be out of mercy."
Beck: "That is very interesting, but I am actually going to be the killer right now. Of you."
Hank: "Beck, stop doing your job! Don't you understand that my problems are much more important than you killing the guy who killed your husband and is starting the Apocalypse, and also is a terrorist and also a highly paid mercenary?"
Beck: "I don't see how that's possible."
Hank: "Just trust me."
White Vincent: "I trust you. We have a common interest."
Beck: "Uh, no. I'm pretty sure I'm just gonna kill this dude."

But then she doesn't. The whole made-up conflict just goes away, leaving the overheated score to calm itself down. White Vincent grabs a watch from the dead Nazi that Hank had the foresight to photograph in detail and then blows up his own vehicle so that they are both stunned. Making little snow angels on the tundra while White Vincent gets the heck on out of there.

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Zero Hour




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