Veronica Mars
Show Me The Monkey

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 13 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
Monkey See, Monkey Die

PHAT letter-writing. It looks like broad daylight outside. Hmm. Veronica and Mac show up, and Bronson enthusiastically starts setting them up, telling them that if people knew that every research animal on campus ends up getting killed, a lot more people would protest. ["That pitch worked on Brenda Walsh, anyway." -- Wing Chun] Veronica takes note of that, and then Bronson leads Mac away while Veronica goes to talk to "Darla," the girl who wanted to picket. Veronica declares her enthusiasm for the picketing idea, and for anything else Darla might have up her sleeve. Darla doesn't bite, though. Across the room, Bronson notes Veronica's enthusiasm. Mac: "She played Pee Wee soccer. She made her own penalty cards so she could red-card players she didn't like." Hee. Bronson tells Mac that he's glad she came, since he doesn't usually have much fun at these things. Aw. He likes her! And if he's (a) never been sexually abused, (b) doesn't have chlamydia, or (c) isn't a mass murderer, he's already ahead of the game!

Later, Veronica tells Mac to look across the room. She does, and catches Bronson goofily and unabashedly grinning at her. Yeah, he's pretty adorable. I obviously haven't learned a thing from Beaver. Mac, unbelievably seeming genuine, doesn't get it, and Veronica sighs in frustration. Darla and some dude with doofy two-toned hair and stupid facial hair join them, and they tell Veronica to do something to get their attention and prove herself: "Surprise us." Veronica looks conspiratorially at Mac, who returns her gaze with abject fear. Hee.

Chez Mars. Veronica arrives home and, noting the faraway look on Keith's face, asks him what's wrong. Keith: "Just thinkin' that if I were going to get drunk and shoot myself, I'd probably drink the good stuff first." I'm not sure a man bent on suicide can be counted on to be logical, but I suppose I've heard worse theories. Keith explains about the Scotch, and then asks Veronica her impressions of Dean Ed. Veronica wistfully confesses that she admired him, and that he had character, "or was one." Keith asks about Dean Ed's rhetorical style: "Businesslike and bland?" Veronica: "More Old Testament sarcastic." She's certainly qualified to judge, under the "it takes one to know one" school of thought. Keith wonders if his sense of humor would fit with the clichéd note he left. When he tells Veronica what the note said, however, she tells him that her Plan A Perfect Murder paper was about a fake suicide: "You leave a note on the computer so you can't check the handwriting, and write something clichéd, so you don't study the message. My example was 'Goodbye, cruel world.'" So this means that Keith telling Dean Ed about the affair probably had nothing to do with his death, but that Veronica's paper gave the killer his idea for the murder. Guess we know who's doing the dishes tonight! By the way, you'll remember that Landry posted the A papers online, so the fact that the killer used Veronica's scenario doesn't narrow down the pool of suspects at all. Also, I should tell you that a reader kindly emailed me and told me that this setup is an elaborate in-joke: in the film Batman Forever, Ed Begley Jr. played the Riddler's boss, and the Riddler killed him and faked a suicide note that read "Goodbye, cruel world." And I'm impressed with the lengths to which the show went to pull the joke off, but now I'm wondering whether this means Veronica simply ripped off her paper from a mediocre movie. The meta, she is a confusing mistress.

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Veronica Mars

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