Veronica Mars
Show Me The Monkey

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 13 USERS: A
Monkey See, Monkey Die

Meeting. Mac is engaging in some free-floating bitching until she practically runs into a cute if rather young-looking guy. He smilingly asks if she's ever been to one of these things before. Mac says no, since she's from a meat-and-potatoes family, "minus the potatoes. My first pacifier was made of jerky." Yeah, I think the writers forgot about the vegan thing. (Don't email me.) Not that I blame them. (Don't email me.)

Cut to the guy, "Bronson Pope," telling the group that he's the PHAT chapter president, as Veronica makes cute "The PRESIDENT likes you!" eyebrows at Mac. Hee. Mac, of course, looks exasperated to cover the fact that she's totally embarrassed. Bronson starts his spiel, and it goes on for a while until Veronica raises her hand and asks whether they'll also be doing anything more radical, like, say, liberating animals. I'd say this lacks subtlety, but then again, she is being made to watch a slide show. Bronson tells her that is not really their thing, but invites her to join them the next night to launch a letter-writing campaign. Veronica unenthusiastically agrees, and then a severe-looking girl with nerd-chic glasses growls that a "psycho" rocker known for hunting, "Ed Argent," is playing the next night, and that they should picket the show. The group enthusiastically nods agreement until Bronson opines that that's a poor idea, since the typical Argent fan would "pay double to spit on [their] picket line." The group then isn't so keen on the suggestion. I can see why they're so concerned about animals, given that sheep belong in that category.

Weevil and Keith enter the Dean's office, Weevil telling Keith that, in addition to the blood from the gunshot wound, Dean Ed left a note on his computer that read "Goodbye, cruel world zzzzzzzzz." "I guess his head fell on the 'z'." This is why I don't recap after midnight. Capra's skin still looks awful, by the way. I buy that steroid story less and less as time goes on. Weevil expresses regret at Dean Ed's passing, but Keith's attention is occupied by Dean Ed's prize bottle of Scotch, which is untouched.

Chez Logan. Dick, in a bathrobe, takes a Polaroid and snaps a photo of his private parts. Of course, as his actions indicate, that's kind of a misguided euphemism in his case. Anyway, Dick tosses the photo off the balcony as Logan appears and mildly says that he already told him that the management requested he stop doing that. Dick says that Logan's management-sympathetic attitude is indicative of what's been wrong with him lately, and then turns back to look over the balcony and exclaims, "Best-case scenario! Old lady!" Hee. Logan's unamused, so Dick asks if he's just going to mope around, like that book where the guy's mom dies and he has to go back to Jersey. Logan sighs that Garden State was never a book. He really doesn't like playing the straight man. My shock is unparalleled. Dick: "It wasn't? So much for that paper." Hee. Dick adds that if they were in a book, his essay would be on the symbolism of how Logan's character got "his man-parts ripped off by the Veronica Mars character." Since Dick probably doesn't care about plagiarism, he'd save himself a lot of time by copying some forum posts. Logan says that his man-parts are intact, but Dick invites Logan to show him, symbolically, for they're young and in their sexual prime: "And the only reason why we're not out there going hog-wild is because of your feelings?" Possibly, but I think the fact that the Grand apparently recently installed a low-flow showerhead in your bathroom might be draining your mojo as well. Dick goes on to ask if they're on The View: "Am I Rosie O'Donnell?" I'll just leave that one alone. Dick quotes that old saw about today being the first day of the rest of your life and, with an endearingly beatific smile, tells Logan to think about that. At Logan's blank stare, however, his face falls: "Really, think about it!" Hee. Logan snarks that, as a statement, it seems "obvious. And pointless." Dick begs Logan to let him help him. Aw, he cares -- that's so touching! Of course, as usual, that word means something different applied to Dick.

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Veronica Mars




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