Veronica Mars
Normal Is The Watchword

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 6 USERS: A-
Summer Of Love And Hate
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Yay for the new season! Welcome, or welcome back, depending on whether you were around last year. Let's get to it.

A longer-haired Veronica leads three teenaged girls to a table at a café as VMVO tells us, "Normal. That's the watchword." That certainly works well with the primary definition of "watchword," since very few people on this show are familiar with it. She goes on to say that she's ready for the new school year, which starts the next day, since she has a best friend and a boyfriend, and Lilly's killer is behind bars, so everything is just peachy keen. (She actually says "hunky-dory," but no one's going to foist any nineteenth-century adjectives on me when I'm perfectly capable of coming up with them myself.) Veronica tells the girls that a waitress will be right with them. At first, I couldn't believe that Veronica got a job up front with no experience, but she waits tables later in the episode, so maybe the waitstaff switches off covering the door. VMVO says that she's got a normal job, but she just wishes fewer of her classmates showed up to her place of employment. Whether she still hates their guts generally or has merely learned that they're terrible tippers is unclear, but either way...

...that's her cue to greet a "Kelvin Moore," who tells her that he needs her help: he got kicked out of "athletics" for his entire senior year for failing the mandatory drug test, despite having been clean for almost the past ten months. If that failure gets you out of Gym, I wouldn't ask too many questions, kid. Since Kelvin flunked the drug test the year before, Veronica makes him give her his hands and swear that he's clean, which he does, and then asks if she thinks he was lying. Veronica says she doesn't know: "I just wanted to see if you'd do it." Buffy goes on to say that she doesn't do that kind of work anymore and...oh, whoops. I confused this with another season premiere. (Which was my first recap! Aw, nostalgia!) Veronica says that Kelvin should perhaps contact Encyclopedia Brown. I don't know if that's such a good idea since, given what we soon learn about Kelvin's tolerance for nerds, he'd probably just end up kicking that skinny know-it-all's ass. Kelvin bites out that it's true what "they" say -- that Veronica landed a rich boyfriend, and she's an 09er now: "Last year was just some big old act for you." With all due respect, I didn't write twenty-two recaps last year for some "act," so can it, Drug Boy. Veronica, for her part, looks bummed that Kelvin's pegged her innermost thoughts so well. It was easy, Veronica -- he just listened to "VMVOs on Tape" on the car ride over. He goes on to say that you have to "pick sides in this town these days," because if you're going to beat people over the head with a theme, it's best to start early and pace yourself so that your arm doesn't get tired. Kelvin leaves with a sarcastic "Sleep well," but VMVO isn't fazed: Kelvin is a bully, so she'll sleep just fine.

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Veronica Mars




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