Veronica Mars
Nevermind The Buttocks

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: B
When A Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie...

In the back yard, Veronica discovers "Harry" practicing shooting arrows at a target on a plastic deer. Veronica: "I hate fake deer too. Every time I see their stupid fake-deer faces I want to grab a shotgun and go all Cheney on 'em." Sure, but since fake deer don't talk, they won't be able to apologize for all the mental anguish they caused you by getting shot. And that's really the most satisfying part of the whole exercise. Anyway, Harry doesn't look away from his alarmingly accurate target practice with his alarmingly state-of-the-art-looking bow. Upon being questioned about the presence of the sticker on the car's window, Harry says that it was pretty dark, so he doesn't know. He says, though, that he really wants the guy found, as he lets fly an arrow that hits the target square in the eye. As cues to leave go, Veronica, that one's pretty, um, pointed.

Weevil's working under a car when he sees a pair of feet approach. You'd think he'd be a little more careful about being taken by surprise, but then again, he is a bad-ass. Weevil slides out to see Hector. He gets up, but he might as well not bother, because despite the fact that they stand a good distance apart for most of the scene, Hector is still to Weevil as Logan is to Veronica. (Okay, not like that.) Anyway, Hector has come for help: the Fitzpatricks are treating his boys like "their bitches." Weevil guesses that that's because they are, but he fails to add a comment about what Hector is crying like. Insult to injury, Weevil -- it's easy if you remember the formula. Hector goes for the heartstrings, saying that Arturo, "that freshman you wouldn't let join up," missed a payment and got a cigarette lighter to the face, as a result: "People are gonna die, Weevil. Your people. Thought you should know." Hector withdraws, leaving Weevil to wonder whether he really did such a great thing getting rid of Thumper. Well, no use crying over spilled support beams.

Mars Investigations. Veronica's checking a used-car website when Keith arrives with a yearbook. Veronica says that she's seen his yearbook, and that while the feather-haired Rick Springfield look worked for Keith, she doesn't need to see it now. I feel safe in saying she'd be outvoted on that matter, by a margin of the current population of the world minus one to one. Anyway, Keith says that it's Kendall Shiflet's yearbook, and when Veronica opens it to the relevant page, she learns that Kendall Shiflet doesn't look anything like our Kendall; however, an older student named "Priscilla Banks" does. This is all very Body Heat, and given the parallels, I'd suggest that Charisma Carpenter take good care of herself, because the last time I saw Kathleen Turner...well, let's just say anyone who feels getting to sleep at night is too easy should perhaps check, um, "her" out these days. Moreover, our Kendall killed the real Kendall in a car accident. Veronica: "The lengths a woman will go to to shave a few years off her age." Now if we find the other two people Kendall must have killed, we'll really be in business. Keith demurs, saying that Kendall probably changed her name because of the six months she spent in prison for "wire fraud."

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Veronica Mars




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