Veronica Mars
Nevermind The Buttocks

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: B
When A Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie...

Veronica arrives home to find Keith half-asleep. After she jokes about South Beach, Keith asks whether she has any idea why Logan would have gotten three calls from Kendall the day of the crash. I agree that three seems a bit excessive, but then again, that could be why she needed someone in high school. No, Veronica has to explain that the Latin term is "coitus sordidus." Heh. Keith, somewhat disbelievingly, notes that that was weeks before Big Dick fled the country. Oh, Keith. Don't ever change. Veronica notes that Logan "may be a little fuzzy on the Commandments." And let's not even get started on Leviticus. After ascertaining that Veronica didn't know about the sordidus as it was happening, Keith asks if Veronica could stomach discovering whether Logan was actually with Kendall at the time of the crash, and Veronica hilariously looks like that is indeed asking a lot of her gastric system. Do me a favor, Veronica: if you do feel the need to hurl, aim for Logan's car.

Speaking of which, Veronica is waiting in the Neptune High parking lot, as Logan appears from around his vehicular monstrosity and says that he likes to start the day with a hot blonde waiting for him. Veronica says that she does too, and when Logan counters that he's not blond, she adds, "Or hot." It's nice to be reminded of Veronica's real age once in a while, because when she gets a little older, she'll realize that protesting like that doth betray her true feelings. Veronica gets to the point, and Logan asks whether he should start carrying around a webcam. I'd point out that using a webcam to document Logan's sexual exploits has already been done, and take it a little further by wondering if that's how Beaver got all that investment money together. I've seen worse business models, that's for damn sure. Anyway, Veronica subtly appeals to Logan's friendship with Dick by revealing Kendall's motive for possibly wanting Dick and Beaver gone, and while Logan isn't convinced of Kendall's ability to plot a murder, he does tell Veronica that Kendall kicked him out "before the sheets were dry," although given that any of the Casablancas males could have come home at any time, that's hardly incriminating evidence. Logan then starts in on other sexual exploits he's had, and, as Veronica rides a gigantic eye-roll on out of there, asks whether any of that is relevant, and whether he should make a list. I'd say not to bother -- nothing you come up with will rival the fanfic that went up before you even finished your sentence.

Inside, Veronica has just walked through the metal detectors (ConYay!) when Gia catches her and shows her the ad Veronica placed, which asks for information about the car that killed Apache. Gia tells Veronica that someone in that car mooned her on "September 13th, 7:00 PM, Pacific Coast Highway" -- minutes before the bus crash. Rarely do we go to commercial mid-scene on this show, but I can't really imagine how this scene could have been written to place the DUN! at the end.

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Veronica Mars




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