Veronica Mars
Nevermind The Buttocks

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
When A Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie...

An alarm sounds, as a woman hustles out of the administrative office past Veronica. VMVO tells us that she set off Clemmons's secretary's car alarm, which was "pure Bond." If the secretary doesn't take lunch at the same time as Clemmons, as indicated previously (but which I can't say I really bought then, anyway), I wonder how Veronica got past her last week. I doubt the typical Bond/Moneypenny interaction would have worked, not that I wouldn't have loved to see Veronica give it a try. Anyway, Veronica tries to get in, but the lock's been changed. VMVO gripes, "Man, he's gotten paranoid!" Hee.

Veronica waits outside a classroom until Butters appears. He looks none too pleased to see her, although the fact that she calls him "Vincent" should have been the first clue that she wants something. I will not be calling him that, despite the fact that I'm awfully quick to drop nicknames. Veronica gets right to the point, asking Butters for help in getting to the box of confiscated stuff on Mac's behalf, and saying that this is a good opportunity for Butters to stick it to his dad. Butters says that he gets to do that plenty, no doubt referencing the radio show. What Butters doesn't know is that Clemmons, like everyone else, gave up "Ahoy Mateys" after Krunk died with a disgusted "That Imitation Crab is such a tool." Just as well -- Butters has enough self-image problems as it is. Anyway, in return for the office access, Butters wants to go to prom with Mac. Veronica mischievously agrees, "I think that can be arranged." See, Veronica, now you're thinking. Pimping could totally pay for your college education! Butters tells Veronica to meet him in his dad's office after the last bell: Clemmons has "bus-circle duty," whatever mindless, soul-sucking job that might be...

...but now it must be going on, as Veronica, Mac in tow, slowly knocks on Clemmons's door three times. Butters answers the door, and disgustedly asks, "That was your secret knock?" Veronica: "The genius is its simplicity." I'm hoping that's what I'm going to be saying at the end of the season, but I'm sensing that's not going to be the case. Butters points Veronica to the box and says that they have exactly eleven minutes, and this isn't exactly The Great Train Robbery, kid, so chill. Mac gratefully tells Butters that this is "way cool" of him, but Butters starts babbling that he's an excellent dancer but that they totally don't have to dance and that he doesn't want to get the wrong corsage and whatever. He's actually somewhat nervously endearing here, which is too bad, because I doubt that they're going to let Mac go to the prom when she's awaiting trial for braining Veronica with her laptop. Seriously, I do think that Veronica just made a judgment call that Mac would take the unpleasant evening over not getting the interceptor back, but it is kind of crappy for her not to have said anything about it, particularly since she clearly talked to Mac about this meeting, and, therefore, had the opportunity. Also, considering the fact that this break-in would no doubt cause Veronica to lose the precious Kane Scholarship, it might behoove all of them to take this conversation outside. But Veronica first asks Butters (I guess he's the first person Clemmons will suspect with the locks changed) whether she can return a copy of The Anarchist's Cookbook she found in the box to Weevil, like there's any reason he would have been keeping that at school instead of at home. I mean, as much of a bad-ass as he may be, it would be just a bit imprudent for him to read that in Chem lab, right? Butters is amazed that Veronica knows Weevil's locker number, but she shows him that it's "333": "Who else would brag about meeting Satan halfway?" One, since when can students pick their own lockers, and two, that's awfully heavy-handed and Smurfy. I mean, Weevil indirectly, but intentionally, caused a hail of concrete to rain down on Thumper. Weevil is a bad-ass. Do we need to belabor the point? Anyway, Butters agrees, and then turns to Mac: "I'm thinking white limo. If that's cool." Hee. Mac looks down defeatedly, but at least she's got her interceptor back to remind her of all the sex she's not having.

Veronica's hanging on Weevil's car when he shows up and makes one of his usual inappropriate sexual comments, or "banters," if you will. Veronica asks him whether he's run into Thumper, since nobody's seen him in weeks (really?), and tells Weevil that if Thumper doesn't show up soon, he'll miss prom. Weevil: "I'm sure he's crushed." Hee hee. It's not so much the line as Capra's shit-eating grin that sells it, not least because he totally thinks Veronica approves of his actions. And I don't think he's completely wrong, there. (The timing of the grin also suggests that Capra might have broken character in the take, and they just decided to go with it.) But Veronica gets to the point about the Cookbook, saying that it was confiscated from his locker the first week of school. You know, another point that may seem nitpicky is that I can't imagine Clemmons intended to return this book to Weevil at all, so why keep it around? "Here you go, kid -- now that you're out of the school system, make all the bombs you want." Of course, if Clemmons is an evil genius, he could have used the book himself. I guess the lesson would be not to put ideas in a previously powerless factotum's head. Anyway, Weevil gets all warm that Veronica's accusing him of blowing up the bus, and Veronica in turn suggests that he wasn't on the PCH by accident. Well, considering that he was the leader of the PCHers, I'd think he'd have to meet certain quotas to keep his position. But Veronica's point is that he could have detonated the bomb unbeknownst to Veronica, since he knew when it would be in the right position. I'm getting a little tired of Veronica chasing these theories without thinking them through. I mean, Veronica, from her reactions and later descriptions, obviously wasn't actually in view of the bus when the bomb went off. So, why would Weevil, if he knew he was taking on this operation that required rather delicate timing, consent to give Veronica a ride? I mean, she might have seen him reaching for his cell phone. When you're pressed up that close against someone, it's hard to get away with using the phone. And it can get you in some serious trouble if you're caught. Also, I can't believe Weevil wouldn't have risked not being in visual range of the bus before detonating the bomb. But anyway, Veronica's idea is that Weevil and Cervando intended to take out the limo, but that because of the whole Dick's bag switcheroo, they took out the bus instead, and put the stinky rat on the bus to drive the rich kids into the limo. If you believe that Liam's comment to Thumper about the duct-tape was significant, you know this isn't true. Weevil asks what Veronica thinks his motive could be, and she says that he intended to kill Logan, who was supposed to be on the trip. Well, the good news is that this finally settles the meaning of Logan's famous "I'll miss you" line. He was going to go on the trip, but seeing Veronica and Duncan all kissyface made him change his mind. Don't completely blame him, there. But if Veronica hadn't lost me already on this theory, the idea that Weevil would kill Logan puts it over the edge. I mean, Felix-killer or not, who else is Weevil going to compare cojones with? Seriously, though, I can't believe Veronica could really give any credence to this theory. The execution of the crime, especially given the collateral damage, is just completely unlike Weevil, in my opinion. (Yes, I know he did some good planning in "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough," but STILL.) But we can't let that get in the way of Veronica's snarkily dismissing Weevil into the opening credits.

Veronica's eating outside, when the big dude from earlier skulks up behind her. Without turning around, she intones, "You've been following me." I guess having Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Veronica Mars

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