Veronica Mars
Mars vs. Mars

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | 7 USERS: A+
Mars vs. Mars

We get some previouslies, but the last of them, Logan telling Veronica he wants her to find his mother, continues on into the action. A bunch of people on the boards complained that this continuation is different take from what was shown last week. I don't see it, but without my contacts in, all I see are blurs with varying degrees of lighting, so maybe I'll defer to the eagle eyes of the forum posters. Actually, I seem to remember that, last week, Veronica looked off to the side when Logan asked for her help, and this time she doesn't, so maybe there's something to this reshoot theory. Anyway, Logan clarifies that he doesn't think his mom killed herself. Veronica invites him inside. A significant percentage of the audience cues up the porn music in anticipation, only to be disappointed. Veronica asks Logan why he thinks his mom's still alive, but Logan counters that he doesn't understand why everyone thinks she's dead, since they didn't find a body. Well, the body could have drifted out to sea. It's not like it was suffering from a lack of flotation devices. Veronica exposits that a woman claimed to have seen Lynn jump, and Logan snarks that if she's on TV, she must be telling the truth. He points out, however, that Lynn's credit cards were missing, and that's a clue. He's got a point -- you don't want to be caught without plastic in the afterlife. If you do, you might have to shop at trashy places, and you'll be running into Courtney Love, once she kicks off. Hell, you'd run into her career right now. Where was I? Logan says he knows his mother, and Veronica gently asks about the note she left. Logan tells her that his mom wants people to think she's dead, but that if she were going to kill herself, "it'd be Chardonnay and sleeping pills." Well, maybe she'd built up too much of a tolerance. I think much wine and many pills passed those lips. In abject terror, needless to say. He goes on that she wouldn't risk "being found bug-eyed and bloated in some shrimp net." Veronica says she'll see what she can find out. Logan turns to go, but says he just needs to know his mother's okay. Aw. He leaves. No hug?

Apparently not, as we cut to Adam Scott, of recent The Aviator fame. He's got his history class divided into two teams, who are facing each other and rhythmically clapping and snapping. Adam Scott loudly wonders which of the two teams will win the "World History Review Roundup and Deathmatch": the "Age of Enlightenment Rock Stars," or the "Children of the Industrial Revolution." Well, if it's a deathmatch, you could come up with more appropriate names. "Crusaders" is a lot bloodier, and also a lot shorter, which is even more important. To me. Anyway, the kids are all having a grand old time in the tradition of Dead Poets Society (or so I'd imagine, because I've never seen it because I have always fucking hated Robin Williams) or the My So-Called Life episode "The Substitute," which is undeniably my least favorite episode of that series. I wonder if this show can pull me out of the bad associations I have with this particular plotline. I do have faith, but did I mention I really fucking hate Robin Williams? Adam Scott reveals that the competition is Family Feud-style, and my faith in the show continues unabated. Because cheesy game shows are awesome. Anyway, it's worth noting that when Veronica's captain gets a question right, she slaps his hand enthusiastically. He looks psyched as well, so I guess he hasn't heard about the SLUT GERMS she carries. Anyway, when Wallace answers a question correctly, he identifies the teacher as "Mr. Rooks." Then everyone's snapping away, and Rooks says he can call on anyone, so he chooses a pretty brunette, "Carrie Bishop," who's wearing way too much lipstick. Looks like a certain stunt cast forgot to clean out her trailer. Carrie tells him, "The answer is, I'm not pregnant." Rooks's smile collapses. Carrie continues, "So you can quit dodging my calls, and you can keep your money to 'take care of it.' And while we're at it" -- she tosses him a key -- "here's your key back. I won't be needing it anymore." The class goes silent, well aware that Carrie's snap has put all their efforts in that department to shame. Credits.

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Veronica Mars




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