Veronica Mars
Look Who's Stalking

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 12 USERS: A
Grand Misery
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Neptune High. Veronica walks down the hallway, as VMVO basically informs us that she has chlamydia. I'd think that would mean she's at the point where she has no secrets from the viewers, if I hadn't actually watched the show before. But, as many posters pointed out, chlamydia is a very contagious and common STD, so the writers (and the network) deserve props for some realism here. Of course, when Duncan gave Veronica that fortune, I doubt this is what he had in mind, but it does seem fitting that this is the last remnant of "V/D." Veronica catches Wallace and Jackie in a pose where you can hardly tell where one of them ends and the other begins. Despite this, she resists the urge to call them by a portmanteau name, which just means Veronica's a girl more after my own heart than even I realized. Instead, she puts a spin on a classic: "Get a room -- in Australia." Well, Veronica, even over there they're going to be sickening. The best you can hope for is that their tongues will swirl in the opposite direction. No offense to the happy-for-the-foreseeable-future couple, though, and let's move on, before we start grousing about how short that foreseeable future is (thanks to the CW executives' decision to keep everyone who cares about this and any other show they own in nail-biting suspense). Jackie giddily says that she and Wallace have given in to the whole prom experience. She was pretty giddy at the Homecoming Dance, too, but this time the feeling seems to be somewhat less chemically induced. She says that since prom only happens once, why not go all out? Mac appears at this moment, and grouses, "Because no one sold you as an indentured servant to Butters?" The bitter apparently aren't big fans of rhetorical questions. Veronica starts, "I didn't think he'd actually..." and it's a good thing Mac cuts her off right there, because whatever Veronica was going to say was likely to smell bad enough to completely put me off my dinner. Mac: "He's picking me up in a Hummer limousine. We're having dinner on a replica pirate ship, and I suspect he's hired a zeppelin for the ride home." Write your own joke about the Hindenburg here. Jackie and Wallace giggle at Mac's misfortune, because if there's one thing that makes a newly-reunited couple less nauseating, it's their overwhelming sympathy for the romantic plights of others. Anyway, Mac starts to threaten suicide, which might be a slight overreaction, but then Clemmons's voice comes over the PA, announcing that due to numerous alcohol violations on the senior trip, prom has been canceled. Looks like Madison's prediction about people puking off Batman The Ride was way more astute than I realized. The extras let out groans that aren't likely to send a lot of agents to their phones, if you get my drift. Mac, however, rejoices: "Prayer works!" I hope so -- the forum posters are counting on it.

Keith answers his phone, greets The Woodman, and is quickly at...

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Veronica Mars




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