Veronica Mars
I Am God

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 6 USERS: A-
We're Not Kidding, Show Killer. Back!

Outside, Wallace finds Logan and tells him that he's going to keep working on the project. Logan tells him to come by later, as he's in. "What's time to a hog?" I'll concede that that's an antiquated expression, but it probably doesn't explain Wallace watching the back of Logan for seventeen years with an amused smile.

Parking lot. Veronica and Wallace are sitting on the trunk of her car when a girl walks by that Wallace identifies as Natalie. Noting that she's driving a Corvette, Veronica asks, "Are you sure there's a 'P' before that 'WT'?" Heh. I guess she also noted the bleached hair and the pink tank with "Crown Jewels" glittered across it. Wallace says that, last year, Natalie offered to make out with him for cigarette money. I wonder how many packs it took before Wallace decided that kissing an ashtray wasn't for him. Anyway, Veronica turns her dial to "Bimbo, Setting 423," and compliments a bored Natalie on her car, saying that she's looking to move up to "a sweeter ride." She asks how the 'Vette handles, and Natalie breezes, "Better than the bus." Veronica backs off, although it's not entirely clear whether she knows she's busted, or she's simply overwhelmed by that outpouring of emotion on behalf of Rhonda. She calls Keith...

...who's at Java The Hut with a different woman. When he answers, she tells him that she's taking his advice and following the money, and asks him to run the financial records of the families of the kids who died in the crash. Keith agrees, and when he hangs up, his date tells him he reminds her of George Costanza from Seinfeld: he's a nice guy, but there's so much "unrealized potential." I'm surprised she's sat still so long for this date, since if that's her impression of George, she clearly did not watch more than three seconds of that show at any given time. She suggests that Keith try some cologne, a gym membership, and a hair transplant. Keith's face sags hilariously as he realizes the dark side of not having to submit a picture.

Wallace is reading verbatim out of Physics For Speed Freaks, causing Logan to cut him off: "Four is officially your espresso limit." It's nice how they're getting to know each other. Wallace says that he's trying to beat Angie to help out Veronica, and asks Logan why he's "doing this." Logan says it's not for Veronica, but in "the spirit of competition." Considering that he's just sitting on his ass, I'd question his competitive drive, but he did give Wallace enough caffeine to produce the output of four men and probably a mule, so you can't say he's not contributing. Logan goes to take a piss (or as he says, "See a man about a horse," like, when did you turn into your grandfather, Logan?), so Wallace flips on the TV and surfs until he comes across The Tinseltown Diaries, which just happens to be lousy with Echollses. After several moments, Logan pops back to say that they rerun it twice a day, and that it's a top-rated episode. He disappears again as Wallace sits with the mixed feelings in his heart. Or maybe he's just realizing that that last espresso was a big mistake.

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Veronica Mars




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