Veronica Mars
Debasement Tapes

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | 14 USERS: A
YOU GRADE IT
My Very Pretty Pony

On the beach, Desmond unsteadily gives a speech about the key to skinny-dipping being spiritual nudity as well as physical. I think. If I got that wrong, you'll forgive me for being a little distracted here. Desmond disrobes and runs into the water, and some guy in front of Piz takes off his tank top and...oh, that's a woman. I got confused because it looks like she does lat pull-downs for a living. Anyway, Desmond yells that it's freezing, and then a spotlight shines on the scene, as Sacks has made an appearance. Aside from Piz, the crowd disperses as Desmond yells, "Oh my God, I don't recommend this!" Hee. I'm thinking even his spirit needs a roaring fire and a robe and slippers. He gets out and yells to Sacks that he should turn off the light. "It really kills the mood." Also killing the mood are the Super-Bitchy Puppy-Dog Eyes Of Dwindling Hero Worship On Loan From Darling Sammy, off of which we go to commercial.

We enter a scene at the sheriff's station and find Keith in medias overinvestus, a state of being with which I've become able to identify all too readily over the years. Keith is hotly badgering a jailed Desmond to admit that the Beatles are the greatest rock band of all time, and Desmond languidly won't even give him that the Beatles were a rock band at all. As Piz and Veronica arrive on the scene, Desmond gets up: "Hey, man, I didn't get all pissy when you denied my claim that Marshal Dillon was the greatest sheriff of all time." Hee. Keith barks that Marshal Dillon was a marshal, and also fictional (Gunsmoke, in case you're wondering). God, Keith. I've known trout that had a better idea of when they were being baited. Keith rattles off a list of what he considers to be great Beatles songs, including "Norwegian Wood." Desmond chuckles and says he used to know a rent boy from Oslo who called himself that. If he made that up on the fly, I'm impressed. If it's actually true, I'm back to being a little distracted. Piz finally takes mercy on Keith, saying that Desmond is "winding him up" (another British touch they left in), and that many critics have noted the Beatles's influence in Desmond's music. Keith looks accusingly at Desmond, who's all, "Oh, you mean those Beatles! I'm sorry, I thought you meant the other ones, with the two Es, from the Lower East Side." Hee. Keith asks Veronica to have Sacks bring him the leg irons, and gets a "Let it be" in response. I would have gone with "Love me do," because PAUL RUDD!, you know I love you.

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Veronica Mars

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