The Real Thing

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B- | Grade It Now!
Savino and Lamb: Together At Last!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Ralph's out on a road with a mileage sign for nearby towns in Nevada, Arizona and Utah, so it's in that place where the states converge. He arrives at the place, where Dixon's got his gun on three men with their pants down around their ankles. "You boys are going to get yourself quite a sunburn out here dressed like that," he says. Dixon explains that he only had the one set of cuffs and didn't want them running off.

Turns out they're on a tri-state minor crime spree, so Ralph growls that if he wants to arrest them in Nevada, he's going to have to do the paperwork necessary to extradite them from Arizona and Utah. "I hate paperwork," he tells them, and winds up taking Dixon's shotgun and pretending he's going to shoot all of them. "Out here, nobody's going to be the wiser," he says, pumping the gun and pointing it at them.

Naturally, it's all a con, and Ralph sends them scurrying off since the money's going to get returned, and he threatens to kill them the next time they show up in his state.

"Sometimes there's a difference between law and justice," he says to Dixon, and Dixon says he doesn't actually mind doing the paperwork. Nobody ever became a legend with paperwork, Dixon.

Over to a dentist's office, where a showgirl comes in with a missing tooth and a sob story about a collision with another showgirl, and the jovial dentist lets his hygenist go so they don't miss lunch, leaving him and the showgirl alone in the office. Then he gives her a whiff of gas, losing all humour in his demeanor and asks the showgirl if she minds if he puts on the radio. The scene definitely leaves a Vegas: SVU vibe to it.

Over to the count room at the casino, where some flunky named Frank is dropping a fizzy tablet of some kind into water. Mia warns him that if he's sick and makes everyone else sick, he's fired, but he claims it's just the pastrami he ate. Mia's suddenly got a bigger problem: representatives from the gaming control board stroll in, talking about a new city ordinance that Mayor Bennett signed just this morning, giving them access to all of their records. I don't buy the Savoy having no idea about the ordinance until now, but this is where we are. In the confusion, Frank's drink gets spilled, causing a five-hundred dollar chip to fizz suspiciously. Mia keeps her poker face in front of the board auditors -- who are portrayed as the villains, of course, horning in on the good honest mob folks running the Savoy.

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