Vampire Diaries
The Devil Inside

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: D | 330 USERS: C-
Elegy for Our Lady of Perpetual Victimhood
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

This is akin to "The dog ate my homework," recap, except in this case the dog threw up my homework, i.e. recap. My poor little dog has been seriously sick (her tummy, but she also tested positive for Lyme disease antibodies, which is unrelated to the nausea). In addition to that, we're having a snow storm, I'm sick (a cold or something), and I thought I had one more day to write this up. Then at supper (which was way fricking late, because my husband had a meeting out of state) one of the kids mentioned today is Tuesday. After cooking, clean-up, pre-storm shopping, sneezing (well, I suppose that's between sneezes), and OCD hand-washing, I started this recap at 10:00 PM, and only under protest. I'd rather be watching Supernatural reruns, and I haven't been a faithful Supernatural viewer (although I do catch up, over time) since Season 6. So my lovelies, we're gonna wing it.

To begin, I'm plagiarizing myself from the middle of my recaplet: I need something or someone to make me care about how this all ends. Are these characters on a journey that's even worth watching? Do they have arcs? It feels to me like we're just reading ticker tape. Some numbers rise. Others fall. Show, much like the stock market, I'm not invested in you.

Were I approaching this recap in any way that could be considered ordered, reasoned, or academic, the previous paragraph would be my thesis statement, but c'mon, I'm sick, tired, and sick and tired. The thesis statement is: blah. Raise your hand if you feel the same way. If not, tweet at me, or respond in the comment section of this recap. I won't try to argue you out of liking the show. I'm trying to argue myself back into liking it, again.

Right now (and yes, I've heard from many of you that I'm being too hard on the show, and you're probably right), I hate its bloody guts and want it to be the surprise cancellation of the year. I cannot justify that desire. I guess I can say, I don't really want cancellation, because I never want to see people lose their jobs, but right now I want to stop watching and make the pain go away. Since that's not an option, and baby needs a new pair of shoes (and needs to go to college next year), let's do this thing. (P.S. I hate you, Gerber Life ads. I expect this will be mostly script parody, with part bitchery, and part stuffy-headed incomprehension. I know. I sell myself, like a boss. You ready? Me neither.)

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Vampire Diaries




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