Vampire Diaries
Gone Girl

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 301 USERS: C-
Checkout Time
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Northern Europe, 1520. Nadia Petrova approaches a Tudor Revival style home, during the actual Tudor architectural period, because this show had Vikings and horses in Virginia a thousand years ago, so why the hell not. She tells the man who answers the door that she's looking for "Katrina" Petrova, who was last seen outside London in 1492. In the present day, Nadia dreams about that night and talks in her sleep.

Nadia: I need to know why she abandoned me.

Katherine: Hey, I did not abandon you. You were ripped from my arms, which is a whole different vibe. I won't let you die, kiddo. You can take that to the bank. I promise and everything.

Nadia: So you're going to ask Klaus for some of his blood.

Katherine: Let's not get crazy, here. Have you met my good friend, Dr. Wes Maxfield? He'll study your blood.

Wes: S'up?

Nadia: Get away from me.

Katherine: Let the creepy, torture doc take care of you.

Wes: Listen to your mother. I'll study your blood, identify the werewolf toxin and use it to make my vampire-eating ripper serum even more cracktastic. Oh, and I'll totally create an antidote to cure your problem, because as everyone knows, I live to serve vampire-kind.

Nadia: If I'd known dying would drag your attention from Stefan, I'd have done this a long time ago.

Katherine: I'm going to be a better mother, starting right now, for the 35 minutes you have left.

Title card.

Damon (locked up in the Mossy Manse dungeon): Katherine is brilliant.

Stefan: For weeks, we thought Katherine was Elena. You blew up your entire life, in reaction to Katherine's shenanigans, and that's all you're going to say?

Damon: I'm trying to figure out why you'd tell a starving vampire eating ripper that his nemesis is walking around, alive and well, while I'm chained up in the dungeon.

Stefan: I've got everything under control

Audience: That should end well.

Mossy Manse Parlor

Matt: Wait, so Katherine is walking around in Elena's hot little bod? How did I not know this?

Audience: Thanks to over-compulsion, calling your brain mashed potatoes is an insult to mashed potatoes. Stay pretty, Pudding Pop.

Caroline: Hey, I have a whole lot of exposition to spew.

Recapper: The audience is shrinking, not growing. Those of us who are left don't need your recap inside of my recap.

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Vampire Diaries




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