Vampire Diaries

We Suck

By Cindy McLennan | Aired on 03.20.2014

While You Were Sleeping - Welcome to my recap of this loathsome vehicle, populated with loathsome characters who do loathsome things in particularly loathsome ways. You remember. It used to be The Vampire Diaries. It's my own damned fool fault I find myself in...

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RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

Latest Episode
5-16 Recap	We Suck While You Were Sleeping - Elena is ill. Damon wants to explain his kill. Stefan isn't chill.	03.20.2014	N/A	Cindy McLennan
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
5-15 Recap	Checkout Time Gone Girl - Nadia dies. Katherine seems to get dragged off to Hell, but odds are she was sucked back to the white board in the writers room until they can figure a way out of this mess. Elena wakes.	03.06.2014 03.12.2014	N/A	Cindy McLennan
5-14 Recap	Picnic No Exit - Damon hankers for a hunk o' Enzo and "Elena" and Stefan.	02.27.2014 02.28.2014	N/A	Cindy McLennan
5-13 Recap	102 Things I Hate About You Total Eclipse of The Heart - "Elena" takes Stefan to the Bitter Ball. Bonnie meets a possible witch. Damon acts up.	02.06.2014 02.12.2014	C+	Cindy McLennan
5-12 Recap	Elegy for Our Lady of Perpetual Victimhood The Devil Inside - Katherine seeks permanent ownership of Elena's body.	01.30.2014 02.05.2014	D	Cindy McLennan
5-11 Recap	100 Things I Hate About You 500 Years Of Solitude - Katherine is dying, but Nadia gets a Traveller to cast a hitchhiker spell. Why, whose body shall Katherine choose? It's like a total mystery, but with only one obvious answer.	01.23.2014 01.29.2014	D	Cindy McLennan
5-10 Recap	50 Shades Of FanFic Fifty Shades Of Grayson - Everything old is new again: Grayson Gilbert's past; Damon's sins; Katherine and her grey hair; Stefan and his principles. Still it's Thursday, so it's time to save eternal damsel, Elena.	12.12.2013 12.18.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
5-9 Recap	The Human Diary The Cell - The past always catches up with you. Even if you're a Salvatore.	12.05.2013 12.11.2013	C	Cindy McLennan
5-8 Recap	And The Black Guy Always Dies Dead Man On Campus - Elena and Caroline throw a party to celebrate Bonnie. Dr. Maxfield has an interview with an Evil Pixie Monster vampire. Stefan has PTSD and a suicidal Katherine on his hands.	11.21.2013 11.27.2013	A	Cindy McLennan
5-7 Recap	Doppelgängbang Death And The Maiden - Nina Dobrev scores a hat trick. Damon has doppelgängers coming out of his ears, so Qetsiyah uses them to switch the Other Side anchorage from Amara to Bonnie.	11.14.2013 11.20.2013	A	Cindy McLennan
5-6 Recap	A Touch of Grey Kinda Suits You, Anyway Handle With Care - Silas is a supernatural Madonna who pinky swears he's ready to die and resurrect Bonnie. Q is a woman scorned. Stefan is an amnesiac. And then there's something about Snooki's backyard. I don't think we can blame milkshakes.	11.07.2013 11.13.2013	B+	Cindy McLennan
5-5 Recap	Ding Dong The Dead's A Witch Monster’s Ball - There's a costume ball at Whitmore, so Stefan goes as James Dean and Silas goes as Stefan. Nadia reveals her connection to Katherine. Damon reveals his loyalties.	10.31.2013 11.06.2013	B	Cindy McLennan
5-4 Recap	Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead For Whom The Bell Tolls - With all apologies to the all too real and solemn Armistice Day, it's "Remembrance Day" in Mystic Falls, so maybe the Fellowship will finally remember they haven't heard a word from their BFF since May.	10.24.2013 10.30.2013	B	Cindy McLennan
5-3 Recap	Doppelgäng-o-rama Original Sin - Katherine and Elena share a witch-planted prophetic dream about Stefan, so along with Damon, they take a road trip to find him.	10.17.2013 10.23.2013	C+	Cindy McLennan
5-2 Recap	Lie To Me True Lies - In which nobody tells anyone what they're up to, and everyone's worse off for it.	10.10.2013 10.16.2013	B+	Cindy McLennan
5-1 Recap	Back To School I Know What You Did Last Summer - A more worldly Matt returns to the Falls. Resurrected Jeremy heads back to MFHS, which would take some explaining on another show. Elena and Caroline are off to Whitmore College. Tyler is M.I.A. Stefan continues impersonating Angel, and Katherine comes back... wrong.	10.03.2013 10.09.2013	B-	Cindy McLennan
4-23 Recap	You Give Love A Bad Name Graduation - An Angel plot, is what you sell. One Sal Bro's in heaven, the other's in Hell. Cure Bore galore got a hold on me. Tho Joss wrote it all first, I can't break free.	05.16.2013 05.22.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-22 Recap	Unbeing Dead Isn't Being Alive The Walking Dead - Bonnie lowers the veil in a limited way, then maxes herself out. Old friends return. Oh and yes, your recapper has no idea what's going on, but will bet folding money some haters are happy now, but will probably end up sad.	05.09.2013 05.15.2013	A+	Cindy McLennan
4-21 Recap	Tryin' To Get Her Feeling Again She's Come Undone - Damon's been up and down to get Elena feelin' again. All around, trying to get her feelin' again -- the way that made him shiver, made Stefan start to quiver every time she walked in.	05.02.2013 05.08.2013	A+	Cindy McLennan
4-20 Recap	Originality Is Nothing But Judicious Imitation The Originals - Welcome to the backdoor pilot for what may be The Originals series. Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition. The Mikaelssons are leaving Mystic Falls.	04.25.2013 05.01.2013	B+	Cindy McLennan
4-19 Recap	Rebekah Goes To Prom! Pictures Of You - Elena steals Caroline's gown and waltzes over her boyfriends' feelings. Rebekah dances with Matt, saves April, and still comes out a loser. We finally see Silas's face. Undo it!	04.18.2013 04.24.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-18 Recap	In Which Everyone's Pretty And Nothing Hurts American Gothic - Katherine and Elijah. Katherine and Elijah. Katherine and Elijah.	03.28.2013 04.03.2013	A+	Cindy McLennan
4-17 Recap	New York Dolls Because The Night - Damon pretends he's taking Elena to New York for a good time, but he's secretly looking for clues to The Bore. What could possibly go wrong?	03.21.2013 03.27.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-16 Recap	This Is Better Than Mourning, How? Bring It On - The Mystic Falls brain trust can't control a feelings-free Elena. With any luck, she'll stake them all.	03.14.2013 03.20.2013	B	Cindy McLennan
4-15 Recap	The Body Stand By Me - Germ's not only merely dead, he's really most sincerely dead.	02.21.2013 02.27.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-14 Recap	Cure Bore Galore Down the Rabbit Hole - As the Fellowship nears the Bore, things get real.	02.14.2013 02.20.2013	B+	Cindy McLennan
4-13 Recap	Campfire Stories Into The Wild - Shane takes the Fellowship of the Falls camping on an island 200 miles off the coast of Nova Scotia. In the winter. They don't die from exposure, but arguably, they should.	02.07.2013 02.13.2013	C	Cindy McLennan
4-12 Recap	The Baby-Sitters Club A View to a Kill - Yet another dance is ripped from Rebekah -- this time, by Bonnie's Interim Dad, who brings back Interim Mom for some interim parenting. Elena's cockamamie plan progresses. Meanwhile, your recapper pines for her koala clip.	01.31.2013 02.04.2013	A	Cindy McLennan
4-11 Recap	Utterly Compelling Catch Me If You Can - Klaus compels the baby vamps to kill Matt. Kol compels Damon to kill Jeremy. Someone (Katherine, please) compels a stranger to bite off his own tongue. The show's continued reliance on compulsion compels your recapper to yawn.	01.24.2013 01.30.2013	B	Cindy McLennan
4-10 Recap	The Breakfast Club After School Special - When Rebekah gives the kids detention in the library, we see them in the simplest terms: a baby vamp, and a basket case, a princess and a criminal. It's sort of social. Demented and sad, but social.	01.17.2013 01.23.2013	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-9 Recap	O Come, All Ye Faithful O Come, All Ye Faithful - Mystic Falls celebrates Christmas. America follows suit.	12.13.2012 12.19.2012	A	Cindy McLennan
4-8 Recap	My Sister's Keeper We'll Always Have Bourbon Street - In which the menfolk need to put them there womenfolk in their place.	12.06.2012 12.12.2012	N/A	Cindy McLennan
4-7 Recap	The Real Slim Shady My Brother's Keeper - To noble Stefan, the ends justify the means. Elena is sire bound to Damon. Are we just wasting our time? It smells like it.	11.29.2012 12.05.2012	C+	Cindy McLennan
4-6 Recap	They Say That Cracking Up Is Hard to Do We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes - Cursed because she killed a hunter, Elena suffers terrifying hallucinations that tempt her to suicide, so keep your fingers crossed.	11.15.2011 11.21.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-5 Recap	Yeah, I Don't Do Teen Drama The Killer - Connor kidnaps the humans. Stefan rides to the rescue and risks everyone's life by keeping Klaus's secret.	11.08.2012 11.14.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-4 Recap	Race For The Cure The Five - Via flashbacks to 1110 A.D. -- including Elijah (!) in desperate need of shampoo -- we delve into the origin of The Five. In the present, Damon teaches Elena to feed. Meanwhile Stefan teams up with Klaus, which always ends well for exactly no one.	11.01.2012 11.07.2012	C+	Cindy McLennan
4-3 Recap	Friends Don't Let Friends Kill Matt The Rager - In which Elena's a little over the edge, we play the 'ship shell game and the writing team tries to kill your recapper.	10.25.2012 10.31.2012	A	Cindy McLennan
4-2 Recap	The One I Watch Through My Fingers Memorial - Kissing Stefan makes Elena puke, but don't get all excited, Delena fans, because so does everything else.	10.18.2012 10.24.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
4-1 Recap	Have You Heard Of Switches? Growing Pains - Transitioning brings back Elena's compulsion-repressed memories, which is neat, but there's a nasty side effect. She can't remember how to turn off a lamp.	10.11.2012 10.16.2012	B-	Cindy McLennan
3-22 Weecap	A Proverbial Coin Toss The Departed - A season that began with one birthday ends with another... of sorts.	05.10.2012 05.14.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
3-21 Recap	Just Between Us Girls, Who Would You Have Picked? Before Sunset - The Germ wants one day without any vampires in it. He so doesn't get it. The Fellowship of the Falls conspires to defeat Vamparic, so of course they end up taking down someone else entirely.	05.03.2012 05.07.2012	A+	Cindy McLennan
3-20 Weecap	Be Still And Know I Am... Do Not Go Gentle - Oh, it's a 1920s theme dance, but that doesn't even matter.	04.26.2012 04.30.2012	A	Cindy McLennan
3-19 Weecap	Shipwright! Heart of Darkness - Esther returns. Tyler returns. Stefan gets Evilaric to come out and play. Damon and Elena get a room.	04.19.2012 04.23.2012	A	Cindy McLennan
3-18 Weecap	One Down... The Murder of One - Four to go. Kill one Original, kill them all -- as in ALL VAMPIRES.	03.29.2012 04.02.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
3-17 Weecap	Pining For A White Oak Bridge Over the Fjord Break On Through - The one where everyone deserves a good choking.	03.22.2012 03.26.2012	C	Cindy McLennan
3-16 Weecap	I Shot You To Protect You 1912 - Elena and Matt bond and it's great. Stefan and Damon bond and it's great. Then there's the plot, which is so very not...	03.15.2012 03.19.2012	B-	Cindy McLennan
3-15 Weecap	Someone Just Shot A Panda Bear All My Children - Elijah is onto Esther. Rebekah gets an opportunity for revenge. The Salvatores deal with the Bennetts. Alaric gets a little something from Meredith.	02.16.2012 02.19.2012	B-	Cindy McLennan
3-14 Weecap	Shipwreck! Dangerous Liaisons - Eloise Hawking throws a formal ball for her spawn, ensuring the MFHS Prom will be anticlimactic. Everybody's fancy. Everybody's fine. Your body's fancy, but Klaus fancies Caroline.	02.09.2012 02.13.2012	A+	Cindy McLennan
3-13 Weecap	Kill Bill: Vol. 2 Bringing Out The Dead - In which your recapper is an emotional wreck, and wackiness ensues.	02.02.2012 02.06.2012	A+	Cindy McLennan
3-12 Weecap	We Kissed. Now It's Weird The Ties That Bind - Parents and children. Brothers. Lovers. Friends. Blest be the ties that bind...	01.19.2012 01.23.2012	A-	Cindy McLennan
3-11 Weecap	Nothing But The Dead Of Night Back In Our Little Town Our Town - I can't. I can't go on. It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another.	01.12.2012 01.16.2012	A	Cindy McLennan
3-10 Weecap	A Little Of Both The New Deal - On the twelfth day of Christmas the writers gave to thee, a Damon and Elena smoochie.	01.05.2012 01.09.2012	B	Cindy McLennan
3-9 Weecap	Rebekah, The Evil Blood Slut Homecoming - No Homecoming dance for our poor Beckster. Maybe she can make it to Prom. Yes, of course more happens, but I'm not spoiling a mid-season finale on the homepage.	11.10.2011 11.14.2011	A+	Cindy McLennan
3-8 Weecap	Originally... Ordinary People - Eloise Hawking v.2 is the Original Witch. Cuse and Lindelof owe Williamson and Plec dinner for cleaning up so much lingering Lost mythology.	11.03.2011 11.07.2011	B	Cindy McLennan
3-7 Weecap	The Writing's On The Wall Ghost World - It's Illumination Night. Dead characters return en masse, so Bonnie banishes their ghosts back to the other side, exactly before they're able to help anyone on this side.	10.27.2011 10.28.2011	B-	Cindy McLennan
3-6 Weecap	Come On, Buffy Smells Like Teen Spirit - It's Bonfire Night in Mystic Falls, which means a big back-to-school keg party in the woods -- one the kids can advertise in school, because the adults are just that absent.	10.20.2011 10.24.2011	B	Cindy McLennan
3-5 Weecap	Bite Me, Again... The Reckoning - It's Senior Prank Night. It's also Original Prank Night. Mystic Falls High School really ought to invest in some locks.	10.13.2011 10.17.2011	A-	Cindy McLennan
3-4 Weecap	Kill Bill: Vol. 1 Disturbing Behavior - In Chicago, Gloria tries to locate Elena's necklace, but Klaus is harshing her Ju-Ju. In Mystic Falls, the necklace is burning Elena's flesh. Damon is burning for Elena, and Bill Forbes is burning everyone's ass.	10.06.2011 10.10.2011	A	Cindy McLennan
3-3 Weecap	You May Be Invincible But That Doesn't Make You Funny The End of The Affair - Klaus takes Stefan on a stroll down Memory Lane. Elena and Damon trail them to Chicago, thanks to a tip from Katherine. Meanwhile, back in Mystic Falls, Caroline has more daddy issues than Joss Whedon.	09.29.2011 10.03.2011	B-	Cindy McLennan
3-2 Weecap	Know What You're Doing There? The Hybrid - Elena insists on tracking Stefan and drags Alaric with her, so he drops a dime to Damon. They meet up with Ray whose transition into a hybrid is less than smooth. Stefan saves Damon's life, and Matt and Jeremy contact Vicki.	09.22.2011 09.26.2011	A	Cindy McLennan
3-1 Weecap	Just Because I Tell You Things Doesn't Mean You're Allowed To Know Them The Birthday - It's Elena's birthday, but even though she catches sight of Damon wearing nothing but bath bubbles, she's feeling less than festive, and is desperate for news of Stefan, who, along with Klaus, is cutting a bloody swath up and down the Eastern Seaboard. To Caroline, this means it's the perfect time to throw a birthday bash at Mossy Manse, where a haunted Jeremy gets high again, but at least his hair looks good.	09.15.2011 09.18.2011	A	Cindy McLennan
2-22 Weecap	Frankly My Dear, It's Okay To Love Them Both As I Lay Dying - Fiddle dee dee. The second season finale brings near-death, death, and more resurrection. Denouement in Mystic Falls is a heart-stabbing, blood-sucking Ripper, and as God is my witness, I wouldn't have it any other way.	05.12.2011 05.17.2011	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-21 Weecap	Rite, Rite, You're Bloody Well Rite The Sun Also Rises - It's ritual sacrifice time. Pie optional.	05.05.2011 05.10.2011	N/A	Cindy McLennan
2-20 Weecap	Bite Me The Last Day - Elijah has a magic elixir which will resurrect Elena if she submits to being Klaus's sacrifice, but our Evil Pixie Monster has other ideas...	04.28.2011 05.02.2011	A-	Cindy McLennan
2-19 Weecap	And Where Did That Get You? Klaus - In a flashback-heavy episode, Damon and Stefan discover Elena has freed Elijah to enlist him in the battle against Klaus, who menaces Jenna while wearing Alaric's meatsuit. In other news, the writers mercifully reset that whole curse nonsense.	04.21.2011 04.25.2011	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-18 Weecap	Here's To Duplicity The Last Dance - Klaus, in Alaric's body, goes up against Bonnie, and Damon will always choose Elena, duh.	04.14.2011 04.18.2011	A+	Cindy McLennan
2-17 Weecap	Know Thine Enemy Know Thy Enemy - In which your recapper is so mind-blown, she resorts to fixing the title in her headline, rather than trying to come up with something quippy. Also? There are betrayals galore with Isobel back, Jenna gone and Katherine captured.	04.07.2011 04.11.2011	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-16 Weecap	I Have Traded You for Señor Tequila The House Guest - It's Girls' Night Out, which includes the usual: Comings. Goings. Dying in actual fires. Breaking up. Making up. Smoooootching up. Live music. Secrets exposed. Cliff-hangers. And? A cruel hiatus that will last 'til April fricking 7th. On the up side, maybe I'll catch my breath by then.	02.24.2011 02.28.2011	A+	Cindy McLennan
2-15 Weecap	Guess Who's Coming to Dinner The Dinner Party - We flashback to 1864 for more Salvatore backstory, including how Stefan first met Lexi, over... drinks. In the present, Damon hosts a dinner party for Elijah and Uncle Snark Daddy crashes, as does Jenna and Alaric's relationship. And everyone thinks Alaric is a BAMF, but no one's more of a BAMF than Elena Fierce Gilbert.	02.17.2011 02.21.2011	A	Cindy McLennan
2-14 Weecap	That's Not Heroic. It's Tragic. Crying Wolf - Oh, good night nurse. The Pucking Wolfgang is out to break the curse, so things in the Falls go from bad to worse.	02.10.2011 02.15.2011	A	Cindy McLennan
2-13 Weecap	In Which Damon Showers And Bathes Daddy Issues - Damon starts out the episode in the shower and ends it in the bathtub. The wolves kidnap and torture Caroline. Damon. Shower. Bath. Ty gets caught in the middle. Damon. Shower. Bath. Uncle Daddy pulls rank. Damon. Shower. Bath.	02.03.2011 02.07.2011	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-12 Weecap	I Am Not Your Woobie; I'm Your Hamlet! The Descent - To be, or not to be, that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the Critter Blood and Vervain of outrageous fortune; or to take Fangs against a Sea of humans, and by opposing end them.	01.27.2011 01.31.2011	A-	Cindy McLennan
2-11 Weecap	A Marvelous Night For A Moondance By The Light Of The Moon - Tyler. In chains.	12.09.2010 12.13.2010	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-10 Weecap	I Would Die 4 U The Sacrifice - Not yet a woman, but not a man, Elena's something that you'll never understand. She'll never beat U. She'll never lie. And if you're evil she'll forgive U by and by. U -- she would die 4 U.	12.02.2010 12.06.2010	B+	Cindy McLennan
2-9 Weecap	Oh Oh Oh Nina Dobrev Katerina - Klaus was the first vamp ever to set foot on this earth. He knew not about Katerina's human spawn's birth. He tried to break the Sun and Moon curse, which is oh-so-swell, but I just scream: Come on and rock me, Nina Dobrev. Nina Dobrev, Nina Dobrev...	11.11.2010 11.15.2010	A+	Cindy McLennan
2-8 Weecap	Doppelicious The Rose - Bela from Supernatural visits, reviving old fangurlie complaints that make me ill, but on TVD, she's a vampire named Rosemarie and responsible for Elena's kidnapping by the Masquerade Clown. Ro's actions contribute to some stunning Damon/Elena scenes, so can we not get over it, Dean Girls? Please?	11.04.2010 11.08.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
2-7 Weecap	OMG I CAN'T EVEN! Masquerade - Aimee and friend are offed. Katherine is captured. Tyler turns. Black witches are the new black. And of course Stefan and Elena get back together, right? Not so fast...	10.28.2010 11.01.2010	A	Cindy McLennan
2-6 Weecap	You Shouldn't Have Plan B - Snakes in a well -- full of vervain. Writers Craft and Fain keep applying pain. It's a night of great loss, and you just want to grieve? Damon says, too bad. "Suck it up or leave."	10.21.2010 10.25.2010	A+	Cindy McLennan
2-5 Weecap	It's the Council, Not the Law Kill Or Be Killed - Everything happens to everyone. Mason outs Stefan and Damon to Liz, who finds out the truth about Caroline. Stefan decides to change his diet, and, of course, Katherine is behind it all. Now raise your hand if you want to be Nina Dobrev.	10.07.2010 10.11.2010	A	Lady Lola
2-4 Weecap	No Secrets, Only Dirty Shame Memory Lane - Jenna hosts a Contrivance Cookout, at which Damon makes it clear to Mason that he knows his secret. Caroline does Katherine's bidding by keeping Elena from Stefan. Stefan and Katherine get some alone time, but their walk down Memory Lane turns into a run down Retcon Road. And then Elena and Stefan break up!	09.30.2010 10.04.2010	B-	Cindy McLennan
2-3 Weecap	Hungry Like The Wolf Bad Moon Rising - The whole gang is flabbergasted to learn that werewolves exist (even the vampires). Alaric, Damon and Elena take a road trip to Duke. Caroline takes a bite of Matt, and who can blame her? Damon takes an arrow for Elena. And Alaric and Jenna finally kiss.	09.23.2010 09.27.2010	B	Cindy McLennan
2-2 Weecap	Moral Ambiguity For The Win! Brave New World - Caroline's a vampire and a quick study who will brook no insolence from her former torturer, Damon, who is now the head of the council. Elena wants to be a real girl, and Brick House ain't nothing but a hound dog.	09.16.2010 09.20.2010	A	Cindy McLennan
2-1 Weecap	Doppelganger Hijinks Ensue The Return - The Vampire Diaries is back and better than ever. The season 2 premiere of last year's surprise hit rocks Mystic Falls like a hurricane -- and her name is Katherine Pierce.	09.09.2010 09.13.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-22 Weecap	Founders Finale Finally Founder's Day - It's the only day that ever matters in Mystic Falls. There's a parade, a fireworks display, Gilbert Gizmo activation, death, destruction, conflagration and illicit smoochies. And a certain dead-ringer wouldn't miss it for the world.	05.13.2010 05.17.2010	A+	Cindy McLennan
1-21 Recap	How I Met Your Mother Isobel - Elena finally meets her biological mother, Isobel, who proves herself evil incarnate when she interrupts Damon's game of strip poker, right before he takes off his pants.	05.06.2010 05.10.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-20 Weecap	And They Called It Puppy Blood Love Blood Brothers - In 1864, fledgling vampire Stefan Salvatore's heart is pure, my friends. In 2010, suicidal Stefan needs Angel's Christmas miracle snow of "Amends." Meanwhile, Damon and Alaric have a man-date; you'll never guess how that ends.	04.29.2010 05.03.2010	B-	Cindy McLennan
1-19 Recap	Damon And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day Miss Mystic Falls - Bonnie returns. Elena and Caroline compete for the title of Miss Mystic Falls. Elena discovers Stefan's change in diet, then dances with Damon and feels the burn.	04.22.2010 04.26.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-18 Weecap	This Is A Story About Control -- My Control Under Control - When Stef was 17 he did what people told him. Did what his father said -- then let a vampire turn him. But that was long ago. He's in control. (No! He's really not.) Control. (He doesn't have a lot.) Control. (What he hasn't got.) Control. (Now he's all grown up.)	04.15.2010 04.19.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-17 Weecap	I Done Told You Stefan Was The Scariest Vampire In Town Let The Right One In - Fast Freddy captures and tortures shirtless Stefan. And um... other stuff happens, I'm sure of it, just give me a moment. Oh yeah -- Elena feeds Stefan her blood to revive him and he gets all growly. Finally? Vicki returns. Sort of.	04.08.2010 04.12.2010	A	Cindy McLennan
1-16 Weecap	So That Was Kinda Hot There Goes The Neighborhood - Elena and Stefan. Matt and Caroline. Kelly and Damon. Frederick and Bethanne (I don't know who they are, either). Jeremy and Anna? Now that's what I'm talking 'bout. Texting. Sexy cars. Dirty wrong hookups. Invites. Siring suggestions. Whee!	04.01.2010 04.05.2010	B	Cindy McLennan
1-15 Weecap	At This Point, I Miss The Vampires A Few Good Men - There's a Bachelor Auction in Mystic Falls. Damon and Alaric are up for bid. You need more than that? Fine. How about some Julie Cooper mama drama and a shirtless Pudding Pop? Now click the "read more" link to read more about the quickest moving, most revealing fantasy drama to grace our screens. Ever.	03.25.2010 03.29.2010	A	Cindy McLennan
1-14 Weecap	Ooh, That's Gotta Sting! Fool Me Once - Damon, Stefan, Elena, Bonnie, Grams, Anna and the Germ and Ben are all involved in the grand opening of Katherine's tomb, after which Damon is told, "She's just not that into you."	02.11.2010 02.16.2010	A+	Cindy McLennan
1-13 Weecap	Family Ties That Bind And Gag Children Of The Damned - I bet you've been together for 160+ years. And I'll bet you'll be together, for 160 more. Oh it's like you just stopped breathing on the night you kissed (Katherine) and you can't remember what you ever did before... Sha la la la.	02.04.2010 02.08.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-12 Weecap	Your Diabolical Plan: The Sequel Unpleasantville - New vampire boys dressed in blue and vampire girls -- in pink. Vampires, vampires everywhere, and not a drop to drink. But there's a '50s dance and it's all Bandstand, Grease, varsity sweaters, milkshakes, McCarthyism, segregation, the nuclear arms race, and POODLE SKIRTS!	01.28.2010 02.01.2010	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-11 Weecap	No Peace I Find Bloodlines - Stefan can't find Elena, because Damon dragged Elena out of her car wreck and all the way to Georgia -- to see Zoe from Firefly, who's trying to pretend like she's some witch named Bree. Bonnie's impotent; she can't even float a leaf on the wind, which is all Joss's fault for killing Wash. Bastard.	01.21.2010 01.25.2010	B	Cindy McLennan
1-10 Weecap	Full-Grown Alpha Male Douche Bag The Turning Point - Scum is a vamp. Alaric is a slayer. Ty might be some other scary thing. The Mayor is a douche bag. Caroline's monster bait. And Elena is in love. Until she's not. Then she looks to be vamp kibble, but we have to wait forever to find out!	11.19.2009 11.24.2009	A	Cindy McLennan
1-9 Weecap	Witch, Please! History Repeating - Scum returns! There's a new teacher in town, his name is Alaric Saltzman. Witch-ancestor Emily Bennett haunts Bonnie, so she, Elena and Caroline have a séance. Meanwhile, Damon and Stefan turn to role-play to work out their issues. No. Really.	11.12.2009 11.16.2009	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-8 Weecap	It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To 162 Candles - When the F'n CoW's vampire investigation heats up, Damon decides to help. Stefan's be-fanged BFF -- Lexi, arrives in town to celebrate his 162nd birthday. You can write the rest of this, right?	11.05.2009 11.10.2009	C+	Cindy McLennan
1-7 Weecap	Veni, Vidi, Vicki Haunted - Stefan tries to teach Vicki how to lead a peaceful vampyric life, while Damon tries to teach her how to have fun. Jasmine "Grams" Guy tries to teach Bonnie the Dark Arts. Elena tries to teach Jeremy to stay away from Vicki, and fails in an epic fashion. Stefan swoops to the rescue, but some people are beyond saving.	10.29.2009 11.02.2009	B	Cindy McLennan
1-6 Weecap	Hold Me Closer Damon Dancer Lost Girls - The Salvatore secret is out. Elena gets angry. Vicki gets vamped. Matt gets too little screen time and we're treated to Civil War-era flashbacks, too. But can any of that compare to dancing Damon?	10.15.2009 10.19.2009	A	Cindy McLennan
1-5 Weecap	Working At The Car Wash You're Undead To Me - Stefan has Damon locked up, but Damon has his ways. Elena has her questions, and is getting ever closer to answers she never expected in a thousand years. Meanwhile, Jeremy and Vicki have the sex. Someone has done something horrible to Jasmine Guy, and we're working at the car wash, yeah.	10.08.2009 10.12.2009	A	Cindy McLennan
1-4 Weecap	The Secret Policeman's Other Ball Family Ties - Things come to a head at the Founder's Ball. Elena and Stefan have a falling out. Damon tries to kill Caroline, but Stefan's a step ahead of him. Bonnie lights the night on fire and we have a Council of Watchers, but alas, no Giles.	10.01.2009 10.05.2009	A	Cindy McLennan
1-3 Weecap	Francis Fukuyama Predicts... Friday Night Bites - Caroline serves as the vamp version of meals on wheels. Stefan gives Elena some bling, and Bonnie a wiggins. Vicki gives Jeremy the time of day, but Ty gives him a beating. And Damon makes history... end.	09.24.2009 09.28.2009	A-	Cindy McLennan
1-2 Weecap	The Night Of the First Kiss The Night Of The Comet - Elena and Stefan are in lurrrrrrrrve. Bonnie is magical. Caroline is so desperate she ends up with Damon. Jenna tries to reach out to Jeremy, but he's so busy getting rejected by Vicki that he can't even hear her. Meanwhile, Damon decides that while Caroline is no Elena, she's still a tasty treat.	09.17.2009 09.21.2009	C	Cindy McLennan
1-1 Weecap	Dear Feelings Journal... Pilot - Cindy McLennan recaps as the prettiest boys and girls the CW could unearth fuel this gothic vampire Dawson's Creek-romancin', Doogie Howser-journaling teen angst-fest drama. If this is just a Buffy, Lost, Veronica Mars and HIMYM marathon-induced dream, let me rest in peace.	09.10.2009 09.14.2009	B+	Cindy McLennan