True Blood
Dead Meat

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 118 USERS: B+
The Rubble, Or Our Sins
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!


Eric escaped Vamp Camp with Nora, who eventually failed despite Bill's hard-going efforts of standing around talking about how awesome he is. Back inside, Pam and Willa told Jessica about the Hep V tainting, and Jessica told James about it, and then they did it. Sarah snapped back from her boyfriend's death by taking over the LAVTF in his name. Sam was brought back to Bon Temps for stupid Sam reasons, and got Nicole and her random mother kidnapped by Raccoona, while Arlene slowly worked her way through the fact of Terry's death (but she's still in the dark about the actual Bulworthian facts). Sookie is, I think, still boning Warlow in Heaven.


Eric and Bill have a big fight that is pretty hard to watch. Not because it's so sad, but because it is awkward beyond belief.

Eric: "Bill, as a loving Goddess, I must ask You. Why do bad things happen to incredibly annoying people, such as my horrible dead sister?"
Bill: "Ah am not God. Ah am only a buttcrack that used to be a man. Try not to turn on to problems that upset you, Mah vampyr brother. We have a war to throw."
Eric: "Gonna need a minute, dick."
Bill: "Ah did all Ah could for her. It is not Mah fault that Sookie is being a bitch about Mah son Warlow."
Eric: "So this is about not pissing Sookie off? You are SUCH a PEEN."
Bill: "A peen Ah may well be, Mr. Northman, but a peen without a Warlow. And soon Ah shall be a Goddess without a people, unless you shift your ass."

New plan: Go get Warlow again, but actually do it this time, and feed him to all the characters on the show, and that way when they burst into flames they ... won't burst into flames? I think. Bill's making less and less sense as time goes on.

Eric: "I've got time to fuck with you, bro. Hey, remember when Sookie staked you to save me? A very historical moment."
Bill: "Experience a moment on the ceiling, Moff Tarkin. Ah have no time for yore nonsense."
Eric: "Making people float around is stupid. You're stupid."
Bill: "How dare you call Me stupid!?"
Eric: "Literally everything. Suck my vampire dick!"
Bill: "Ah know that you are merely grieving and do not mean it."

But then Bill doubles down on Eric's classlessness, talking shit about Godric. First of all, don't fuckin' do that. Second of all, the last time Eric saw Godric (ghost, angel, actual or drug hallucination) Lilith pre-Billith was eating the shit out of him. So it's even tackier, because Bill is like, "Joke around about my girlfriend? Fine, remember the time I murdered the soul of your dad that you were in love with?"

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True Blood




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