Tru Calling

Episode Report Card
Shack: F | Grade It Now!
Doug Petrie Pays The Rent

Before we get to see how exactly Mr. Connor was going to kill Candace in such a fashion that doesn't lend itself to a fatality, Tru comes running in and turns on the lights. Mr. Connor backs off from Candace and asks Tru what she's doing there. Tru says she's there to tell Candace how much she loved her book. Then she tells Mr. Connor that the only way to take credit for Candace's book now is for him to kill them both. So he does. The end. No, actually; although Mr. Connor will brutally murder one beautiful young bombshell to get some shitty manuscript rejected by thirty publishers, he draws the line at two beautiful young bombshells. He asks Tru if she's going to tell anybody what happened. She says she won't if he resigns tomorrow and turns himself in. Oh, Jesus H. Christ, he's going to be booking the next flight to some non-extraditing country the minute he leaves the building. This show is so damned dumb. Tru says it's a shame that the school will be losing such a great teacher, even though he couldn't seem to finish a book let alone get it published. And, you know, he tried to kill somebody. Tru observes that "some things change," as she stomps off with Candace following behind her, turning their backs and ignoring an attempted murderer.

Now that we've wrapped up the A-plot, let's suffer through a few more minutes to wrap up all these abominable subplots. Tru heads back to the reunion and is brought back on stage to get her tiara. Everybody cheers. Candace gives her golf claps. Tru gives some stupid speech about how school sucked and people were teased and left out and blah blah blah. She takes the tiara off and decides that she's going to give it to Judy, because it will keep her from walking into a Wendy's with a machine gun and a crazed look in her eye. She says that Judy knows everything about everybody in the class, so she should get the title of reunion queen. Judy looks shocked at this development in her otherwise pathetic life. And so Tru rewards some woman's rather pathetic obsession with the lives of others rather than making her go out and get a life of her own. Man, this show is really turning me into Dr. Phil. Actually, it's turning me into Morbo from Futurama, but Dr. Phil is the first stop along the way.

Time for Lindsay's stupid subplot. Glenn heads over and introduces himself to her again. It turns out Lindsay slipped the note into Glenn's locker by accident. Not Craig's. Apparently the note changed his life. See, he thought Lindsay was beautiful, but when he read those words from her, it made him realize that he's gay. See, that's funny; when I was in high school, I realized I was gay when I couldn't stop staring at guys' asses. I guess we all have our own journeys. And then he suddenly lisps, "And let me tell you thomething -- when the ten-year reunion comes around, that tiara? Is mine."

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Tru Calling




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