Tru Calling
Past Tense

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Everything I need to know about screenwriting I learned in kindergarten

Suddenly, Luc wanders into the examining room. He sees Davis there with his gloves and face guard and stuff and says, "So I'm guessing this isn't the sheriff's office, is it?" Well, with the big letters on the front door that said "CITY MORGUE," we can only hope that Luc's allowed to have a "helper" fill out his job application for him. Davis tells him that the sheriff's office is upstairs. Tru overhears this conversation and asks if it's Luc. She tells Davis to wish Luc luck on his interview. And to tell him to check his teeth before the interview. And pass him this note in fifth period. Please? Pleeeeease? I'll be your best friend. Davis does, pointing to the phone while he's doing so to indicate that this wasn't his idea. Luc looks at him like he's a freak, which he is, then thanks him and leaves. After Luc's gone, Tru asks Davis whether or not alcohol would have an effect on the poison. Now Davis explains that alcohol would act as a masking agent that would make the poison undetectable in the body. Why on earth this didn't occur to him yestertoday when the bodies were in the morgue can be answered by our now-familiar refrain: bad writing. Tru suddenly realizes that they were all poisoned, and the booze covered it up for four of them. Did she honestly think before that only one guy died from the poison and the others all had sympathy heart attacks of fratty solidarity or something? Jesus. She thanks Davis for his help and hangs up.

Turquoise is down to lingerie now, so at least there's an improvement there. I'll take whatever touch of realism I can get at this point. She gives a fratty a lap dance, then points out his wedding ring. Tru has the requisite flashback and realizes that he's another victim. This is how stupid this show is -- Tru's situation is just like one of those logic puzzles where the person with the green tie ordered the fish and the person with the orange shirt didn't sit next to the guy who ordered the chicken, and you have to figure out what everybody is wearing, where they were sitting, and what they were eating. Except that the solution "grid" is only one column wide and the only question to answer is, "Killer or victim?" and she's still having a hard time figuring it out. Anyway, after some more pointless flashbacks, she notices that Dry Fratty isn't looking so good, and joins him out on the balcony. The actor who plays Dry Fratty has a lot more personality than the role requires, and for that matter, the actor briefly appearing as Luc, and he and Eliza seem to have a pretty good vibe. They should have cast him as Luc instead. Except that this show sucks, and I want Dry Fratty to land a better gig. And maybe go on a date with me. Even though I don't know who he is or anything. I'm tired now. Leave me alone. Dry Fratty isn't at all excited about the reunion, and blathers on about how these were suppose to be the best years of their lives, like the toast said, but apparently it's not. He won't go into details, of course, but he looks like he's going to burst into tears in any moment. This guy in this tiny role is acting circles around everybody on the show. He even makes an effort to sell the required "I wish I could go back in time and do things differently" line they have to hammer into every episode. He doesn't succeed, but at least he's trying. He says that maybe these guys can get over something that happened in college, but he doesn't seem to be able to. Tru asks him for details, and he starts to spill something about a "girl" -- whose name he didn't even know. Tru asks if this was the girl in the video that caused the party to briefly come to a halt. But before Dry Fratty can answer, the Random Forrest Generator spits the surly man out on the balcony, and a failed charisma check sets Forrest's mood as "hostile." Nobody even understands that joke, do they? Forrest tells Dry Fratty that they reserved him a lap dance, and sends him back inside. Then Forrest, in a suspicious and nasty tone, tells Tru that her break his over. He's the killer, right? Right? No, of course he's not.

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Tru Calling

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