Tru Calling
Past Tense

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Everything I need to know about screenwriting I learned in kindergarten

Is it cancelled yet? Hang on, let me give it a try: Clay Aiken isn't totally overwrought and doesn't make me want to listen to death metal bands to drown the sound of his singing out of my head. Wait, I can do better! I promise! Just cancel this show!

When we return from commercials, Tru is bugging Davis again over the phone. She wants to know if there's an antidote for alvocardyl. He looks it up and determines that glucagon is the only antidote. Would they have any at the morgue? Davis says that glucagon is a substitute for insulin in a diabetic emergency, so they might have some with their first aid med kits. Yes, I know. At this point I'm beyond even caring. Then the Random Forrest Generator kicks in yet again, and he appears right next to Tru in the hallway. He's got two security guards with him as well (minions!), and despite Tru's protests that something is going to happen, they force her to leave. As she leaves, Forrest tries to look as sinister as possible.

Tru goes running down the Tunnel of Making A Mockery Of Shack's Nicknames, and starts fumbling through some cabinets. There she finds a red box labeled "Glucagon Emergency Kit." Of course. I have one myself. Don't you? I can't see the ACME logo, though. She opens it up and takes out a bunch of needles. Then the Random Davis Generator asserts its authority, and pops him out at the other side of the room. He says, "I'm impressed. It took me four months before I stole anything from the office." She starts to apologize, but Davis stops her. He explains that he's been listening to her stories all day and obviously something is going on. Because duh. He says that he hopes that someday Tru realizes that she can confide in him. He turns and walks away. Eliza smells a fart.

Tru goes running back out of the morgue, just as Luc is heading over to some elevator. She sees him, but he doesn't see her. Gee, I wonder why he didn't stop to see Marco 2.0 this time. Wait, didn't Luc's interview yestertoday end after the fratties died and were brought in? Sigh.

Tru goes running back up the hotel hallway and knocks on the door. Of course, it's Forrest who answers, and he gets all confrontational with her in the hallway. She says she knows something bad happened when they were together in college, and she knows they're willing to do anything to cover it up. Forrest insists that the only people who know anything are in that room. Tru says they can't keep it covered up forever, and Forrest angrily insists that he knows that. He thinks perhaps Dry Fratty spilled some details to her. She starts to talk and then has another realization of the dumb. The poison is in the ice. She thought Forrest was the killer, but he wasn't the one who arranged the bachelor party. Forrest doesn't seem to understand what this information means. Oh my god! The MAID is the killer! Oh, wait. Suddenly, Tru's phone rings. It's Harrison. He finally tracked down Robin, just in time for the climax of the episode. It turns out that she and John are not engaged at all. She caught him cheating on her three months ago and dumped him. And so John said earlier he thought Robin had gotten Tru to try to stop the bachelor party because…why? He told that lie…why? To fool us, of course. A character said something that made absolutely no sense within the context of the show in order to fool us. Cancel! This! Show! Forrest continues to be hostile and confrontational while Tru is talking to Harrison. After she hangs up, she explains to Forrest that the bachelor party is phony. Forrest is confused. Why would he call them there, then? Tru reminds him of that horrible, terrible secret they all share. And she suddenly realizes that whatever happened, John must have been responsible. She tells Forrest that she can help them.

So Forrest escorts Tru back into the hotel room. The men are all hanging about, chatting about that time they got drunk and gave each other handjobs. John asks why Tru is back. Forrest says she's got an interesting story for them all to hear. They argue a bit about whether to let Tru talk, and I don't care to go into the details, because they include the line "I think we've all been silent long enough." Tru spills the beans to the other fratties that John isn't getting married. The guys all stare at John. He says he can explain and it was supposed to be the "best night of their lives." They all stare at him some more. John gets upset and walks into the bedroom. Tru gives Forrest the bag that has the glucagon shots in it and goes into the bedroom to confront a would-be murderer all alone. God, what an idiot.

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Tru Calling




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