Tru Calling
Murder In The Morgue

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Shoot first; don't even bother with the questions

Commercials. I don't think anybody loves Chili's baby-back ribs as much as Chili's loves Chili's baby-back ribs.

When we return, Tru runs into Nicole's dressing room to find her on the floor with Bridesmaid Exposition in full panic. She claims that she found her this way and there was nobody around. Because the thing about wedding days is that the bride gets lots and lots of alone time. Everybody comes rushing in to look at the dying bride, including the groom, who freaks out. Bridesmaid Exposition orders somebody to call 911. Tru asks if she saw anything. No, most of the guests haven't even arrived yet. The Powers That Prod remind Tru that an ambulance will not arrive in time to save Nicole because of construction on the highway. Everybody argues about what to do. Tru wants to get her to a doctor. The groom wants to panic and hyperventilate. Tru wins. All the cars are blocked in by catering trucks (stupid) except for Tru's.

So Tru drives off with a bleeding bride strapped into the passenger seat of Meredith's car. Fucking hysterical. Nicole isn't even really bleeding that much. She has an awful stain, but as is usual on television, there's just a big, red, unrealistic blotch. Nicole's unconscious, and Tru's worried. She calls Davis on her cell. She doesn't know what to do. She doesn't think Nicole will make it to the hospital. Suddenly, she decides she's going to bring Nicole to the morgue, which is two blocks away. She says she's sure somebody there will know what to do. Yes, "Take her to the hospital, you idiot," is what they'll say. Davis insists on coming to help, despite the fact that Tru orders him to stay safe at the apartment. So I guess Tru's apartment is two blocks away from the morgue, too.

Tru arrives at the morgue and starts shouting for help, but there's nobody there. Well, that's professional. Davis has somehow beaten Tru to the morgue. Jesus H. Christ. Tru whines that she told Davis to stay away but blah blah blah. He insists on helping.

Davis says they locked all the doors (so very professional at the morgue) for their safety as they push Nicole down the Tunnel of Trepidation on a gurney. Davis notes some sort of stain on her dress. Tru immediately recognizes that this stain is from pollen, but not just pollen, it's from lilies. Tru can differentiate between different types of pollen on sight! The Powers That Prod remind Tru that Saffron was whining about pollen getting everywhere earlier. From this, Tru concludes that since Justin left his gun at home, then Saffron must be the killer. Yes, of course! It makes perfect sense! And she shot her with a bullet made of pollen, which is how it got all over Nicole's dress!

Cut to Justin's house. Justin returns home to find Saffron sitting there outside by the door. Justin doesn't notice her until she says, "I find it so interesting that you broke up with me on the day Nicole gets married." Justin says their break-up had absolutely nothing to do with Nicole. "Well, not anymore," Saffron says, as we pan down to the gun in her lap. She explains that she shot Nicole, although there's no real explanation as to why, other than that Justin still had kind thoughts about her. Justin says Saffron didn't have to kill Nicole over this. Saffron responds that she didn't kill Saffron, Justin did. She points out that it's his gun and bullet, and I'm not getting into the whole gunpowder residue and other evidence again, other than to order these dumb fucks yet again to watch any other crime show that currently exists on earth, now. Saffron tells him that all the evidence is there at the morgue -- somebody just has to find it. Justin snatches the gun away from Saffron and stomps off, rather than arresting her then and there so that forensics can immediately test her hands for powder marks or whatever they are. Stupid show.

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Tru Calling




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