Tru Calling
Haunted

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Intolerable Cruelty

Outside, Tru follows the two guys across campus, listening surreptitiously as they make fun of the professor. And also act cocky. And also taunt Paige. Incidentally, Brendan Fraser's evil, less-talented doppelganger also played Drue on Dawson's Creek, so that's what we'll be calling him from here on out. Tru finally catches up to them and immediately notices that Drue has needle tracks on his arm. You know, because a fucking second-year med student wouldn't know to cover that shit up when he's walking around campus. For God's sake, even Christopher Moltisanti knows to do it between his toes, and he's so dumb he actually killed a dog by sitting on it. Tru strikes up a conversation, and when pressed for a name, she claims to be our old pal Jessica "Bitchy Girl" Hanson. Now I timed it, and it's been exactly 297 seconds (that's less than three minutes for the non-mathematically inclined amongst you, which I'm guessing is a large percentage of this show's viewing audience) since Jessica herself repeated that name twice for us, and yet they still feel compelled to show a flashback, just to make sure we all get it. Now, do you see that? That's the producers of this show, insulting you right to your face. They think you're too dumb to remember something that happened three minutes ago, and they don't even care who knows it. To their credit, if you're still watching the show at this point and not getting paid for it, you might actually be that stupid, but nevertheless, it still would have been nice of them to at least pretend they don't think we're all a bunch of hicks straight out of Sling Blade. Tru, Drue, Paige, and Token Ethnic Guy chat a bit, and then Drue tries to blow her off. At this point Tru is basically reduced to begging them for any shreds of usable exposition they might care to throw her way, but none of it is sufficiently interesting enough or even awful enough to actually warrant transcription, meaning this show has finally fulfilled its aspirations to mediocrity. Congratulations, fuckwads! The scene ends with Paige agreeing to go out to lunch with Tru. Because who wouldn't want to grab a quick bite with a total stranger who keeps asking really stupid questions?

Lunch. Paige complains about being busy. Tru asks inappropriate personal questions. Paige has bad skin. Tru's lips are shiny. Paige gets a call and starts to leave. Tru says she knows about the drugs, and grabs Paige's arm to show off the needle tracks. Paige doesn't have needle tracks. Tru doesn't have a brain. Paige leaves. Tru looks sad. It's too bad that wherever they were eating was too classy to have hooker waitresses. That almost might have been enough to convince me to take this scene off fast-forward while I was recapping it.

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Tru Calling

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