Top Design
Life's A Beach

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: C- | Grade It Now!
Color Me Bad
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on Designing Chefs: Todd Oldham unleashed an army of adorable children upon the Pacific Design Center, forcing the Top Designers to make them bedrooms. Erik's pirate-ship-themed design took home top honors; John's homage to unfinished rooms did not. Erik won immunity from elimination this week; in a way, so did John, since he was eliminated last week. And what are our remaining nine contestants competing for, Todd Oldham? Fluffy magazine profiles! Conscription into working charity events! An unattractive domestic automobile! Filthy lucre! All the Lil' Debbie snackcakes they can eat! It is possible I made that last bit up!

Top Designers, roll call! Booted! Goil! Carisa! Ryan! Ryan's Skateboard! Felicia! Matt! Andrea! Booted! Elizabeth! Michael! Erik! Boooooooooted! For those about to paint, we salute you!

We begin with a fleet of SUVs depositing the Top Designers out in front of the Pacific Design Center, so no Shocking Personal Revelations to kick off things this week. Good thing, too, considering that John's Shocking Personal Revelation had barely left his lips before he was banished to the land of wind and ghosts. Had somebody made a similar pronouncement to start this episode -- Ryan: "I have never ridden a skateboard in my life prior to coming on this show." Goil: "I am actually not half as adorable as you people seem to have concluded that I am." Erik: "I am, in fact, the Dread Pirate Roberts, which explains my winning design choices last week." -- and I would have begun mentally prepping myself for the inevitable goodbye. Anyway, after last week's dismal showing, Ryan is fretful that people are looking at him kind of funny: "I'm going to do my best to make my mark here." Oh, but you are my lad. Ryan Humphrey: Skateboards on furniture. Seems to think 10-year-old girls are giantesses. If you ever need to decorate a room for your cat, give him a ring. Not the mark you were looking to make? I'm just transcribing, dude. Carisa is nervous, too, since she is not an interior designer by trade, but rather, a set decorator: "I'm the youngest, and I have the least experience." Carisa, 26, should probably vet Michael's biography before making extravagant claims aimed at drumming up sympathy.

Hey everyone, it's Todd Oldham -- and by the robotic cadence of his voice, it seems he brought his cue cards with him. Each designer has a prize package in front of them -- inside are items like sunglasses, Frisbees, towels, and bottles of blowing bubbles. Oh my God -- one of the kids from last week left their stuff behind! That kid is going to be heartbroken. Oh. My mistake. It's really just a way for Todd to introduce this week's challenge -- build a beach cabana. And somewhere at Bravo World Headquarters, an executive is trying to pitch his superiors on a new reality program that finds the muscled, well-oiled boys to staff that cabana. America's Next Top Cabana Boy, they'll call it, and it'll be hosted by Kato Kaelin with celebrity judges Demi Moore, Rip Taylor, and Kenny Chesney. Bravo, if you do end up picking up this show, Mr. Sobell wants his cut.

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Top Design




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