Top Chef Just Desserts

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Cookie Couture

Gail announces the Elimination Competition. L.A. Fashion Week is just around the corner so the pastry chefs (and the baker) will be making edible fashion. Team Diva starts squealing like tweens at a Bieber concert in excitement. Their screeches hit supersonic levels (seriously, my dog looked at the television set) when some poor intern rolled out an entire cart filled with shoes. It appears that Team Diva is united by their similar interests, namely, an obsession with Gail's shoes. Gail clarifies: These are NOT her shoes. Zac starts pouting, but perks up as he reminds us that he designs a chocolate dress every year for the NY Chocolate Show so he is definitely the one to watch in the competition even if he can't lick Gail's shoes. Meanwhile Morgan has started salivating and his eyes have widened considerably as he ogles the shoes. He tells the confessional that he LOVES women's shoes. And now I can't get the image of big old Morgan tromping around his kitchen in chef's whites with a pair of size 14 red python peep toe stilettos.

They draw cookies to see who gets to choose first and they all pick except for HBH, of course, who has last choice, of course, because the girl can NOT catch a break. Morgan pauses to lick his red heels and remarking on how sexy they are and shoving them down his pants. Gail reminds them that they must design an edible dress to match their shoes. (But Heidi Klum on Project Runway always says "matchy matchy" is not good". Just sayin'.) But wait! There's more! They also must design a "couture petit four" to be "sampled" (read: chewed and regurgitated) by L.A.'s fashionistas. Everyone packs up their shoes and heads to Albertson's to shop. Wait. Albertson's? That's the grocery store they got to sponsor the show? No wonder the show has an inferiority complex. You know, "just desserts". Say it like Eeyore a few times and you'll know what I mean. Yigit mocks the contents of HBH's basket because that is what the repressors do. They're kinda dicks, you know?

Back at Top Chef: Just Desserts HQ, Zac starts proclaiming his imminent victory despite normally taking weeks to make a dress and only having hours. Meanwhile, Eric the lowly baker more or less admits an early defeat. Morgan is rambling about the fuck me pumps he is wearing for inspiration as he makes his sequined little black dress. Heather is getting all sentimental about sewing and talking about her childhood as an adopted child. Judge Johnny Iuzzini interrupts the stitch 'n' bitch and everyone shrieks in horror. He tells them to chillax, because he has tidings of great joy: The winner will get $20,000! Everyone shrieks again and then Johnny leaves. The competition gets fiercer.

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Top Chef Just Desserts




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