Top Chef Just Desserts

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Layer Cake

Welcome back to Top Chef (Just Desserts). If you remember last week, Baked Eric was sent home. Luckily being Baked Eric, he probably doesn't remember. Just woke up wherever he was, shrugged, hugged whoever walked by, and wandered into the kitchen to start making a couture gown of chocolate. Hahaha! He'll never do THAT again. Instead he will just be whipping up proper American non-fancy desserts that I will eat until I puke and then I will start again. TMI for sure, but look where you are. Welcome back to Top Chef (Just Desserts). Have a seat. Let's begin.

Morgan is so rone-ry, so roney-ry, so roney-ry he has to win. I never realized that Morgan and Kim Il Jong were so much alike. Before he can win he has to get through a newly invigorated Yigit, whose brush with elimination reminded him that he is here to compete, nay, WIN. He wants to be the first gay San Franciscan to win Top Chef. While it is an extremely narrow field, it's good because this way Zac is angling to be the first gay New Yorker, Danielle is aiming at first ceiling-eyed hair dyed girl to win, and Morgan has his sights set on first shoe fetishist Texan to win the crown. Obviously they are all their own worst competition.

Anyhoo. They all trudge down to Top Chef (Just Desserts) kitchen where a steaming hunk of a man is standing next to Gail. He is so large and in charge and shoulder-y that he looks like a minotaur. Gail is huddled up so close that she is practically spooning him because she looks like a waif next to that slab of man beef. So who is this barrel-chested chuck roast? None other than Francois Payard, of the most delicate macarons, croissants, and pates des fruits to grace Manhattan's Upper East Side. His food is so perfect even Blair Waldorf would let it cross her lips. But the competition is not about Francois Payard, it is about product placement. We all knew the Godiva chocolate debt would come due and sure enough there is a mountain of Godiva chocolates sitting on the table waiting to topple over and bury the cheftestants under a landslide of nougat and cherries jubilee the second they venture close.

Gail explains that they want the chefs to render their life stories in four pieces of chocolate. Specifically, they have to craft four moments of their lives in cacao and one of those must be their "golden moment", the moment they cherish above all others. Gail says "golden moment" like it is a normal part of the English language, but as someone who reads and writes in English, I am confident in saying that it is not. Gail adds that Godiva will then develop the winner's chocolate for national distribution and everyone cheers like they care, but secretly harbor disappointment that Godiva is not ponying up an additional $10 large. Francois Payard has said nothing, because he is the Godfather of Puff Pastry and does not need to utter a word but is heard loud and clear.

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Top Chef Just Desserts




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