Titans
Guess Who's Chumming For Dinner?

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Guess Who's Chumming For Dinner?

Meanwhile, everyone's still laughing at the memories. Apparently, this dinner reminds Richard of another dinner many years ago when Chandler and Samantha wanted to "investigate the so-called pleasures of tobacco." The kids inhaled a couple of Cubans and then promptly vomited. Richard probably didn't have rug insurance back then, because the little scamps tried to vacuum up the puke. Heather attempts one of the sloppiest segues in recorded history by telling the family that the whole experience reminds her of the statistics for a particular female demographic for Dress2K -- the puking demographic, I guess. Oh, but Peter, the sharp one, quickly catches on that Heather's failed analogy indicates that this whole dinner was a ploy to suck up to the family to get more money for her Internet company. Heather furiously throws a glass of wine all over Peter. He makes some lame joke about how she should have thrown Merlot, as it goes better with beef. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyone could have written that joke. The dinner is officially over.

Next morning. Laurie and Jenny (dressed in something a five-year-old would wear) are working the espresso machine. Don't they have servants to do all the messy work? Where's Samantha when you need her? Jenny accuses Laurie of trying to steal David and sabotaging their relationship. She quickly backs off, though, and admits that she's just worried that she really screwed things up with David. But from now on, could Laurie not tell everyone she meets that Jenny's an alcoholic? Laurie wants to know where she's going. Where does any self-loathing drunk go at eight in the morning? Well, I know that I like to go to McDonald's, but Jenny is off to AA. She'll be sorry.

There's a sign announcing the AA meeting. Jenny arrives to find David up at the podium, retelling the events of last night. He could smell the wine on her lips (actually, she never had any). He was tempted too, and the reason he spilled wine all over Richard's expensive carpet was to protect himself, not Jenny. Ahhh, he's an alcoholic too. He's also a hypocrite, because while he was giving Jenny shit for wanting a drink, it was he who wanted a sip of that sweet, sweet nectar. He hasn't had a drink in seven years, and as long as Jenny stays off the sauce maybe the two of them can last. It's great how he's using a twelve-step program to come onto Jenny. Their perfectly blue eyes meet and lock. All's well again.

Heather notices Chandler arrive home after a long day of designing jets. The butler informs him that Ms. Sanchez is currently on line two. How long has she been holding for? Heather picks up the phone and eavesdrops on a dirty phone call between the two. They discuss dinner plans, the kind of dinner where clothing is optional. How naughty. Heather tells Richard that she's sick again so that she won't have to join him on his trip to Seattle. Something's going on here. You can tell from Heather's self-satisfied glares.

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