Guess Who's Chumming For Dinner?

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Guess Who's Chumming For Dinner?

That evening, Jenny and David show up for the dinner party. You know, just three weeks ago Jenny wanted to introduce her family to Billy, and now it's David. Boy, she moves fast. Jenny's not so sure she wants to attend tonight's festivities. Things apparently "get said" and it's a dysfunctional nightmare. She's scared and he can't understand. Oh, but he does understand. She's dying for a drink, right? Stupid blabbermouth Laurie. Not to worry, David will be there for her, he'll even sponsor her if she wants.

Once inside, intros are made all around. Chandler shows up with Samantha, hand-in-hand, and of course nobody questions this or shows any surprise. Peter praises Gwen for having the guts to show up. Just like Montgomery Burns, Gwen keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. In fact, she keeps her enemies right across the street. Ethan is introduced to Heather and asks the question that's been on all our minds. What's holding Heather's dress up -- Velcro? Nope, it's all in the breasts, real breasts, she swears on her mother's grave, she's got a certificate from her doctor to prove it. But nobody cares. Gwen would rather have a tour of the house. Heather shows off her Chinese silk curtains that keep the room dark, as we all know what an early riser Richard is. Actually, Gwen remembers that Richards always slept in with her. "Ooh, trouble getting up?" Heather asks. "More like, trouble sleeping," Gwen assures her with a wink." I don't know if Richard's an insomniac or whether these ladies are talking about sex. They're just sooooo subtle.

Back at the table, Heather toasts Ethan about how he's the light everyone can warm their hands on or some such crap. Jeez, Heather, you just met him. You gonna have sex with him, too? The family then toasts Samantha in honor of her promotion. Heather chooses not to imbibe (pssst -- it's to protect the baby) and Richard, good father that he is, mocks his wife and his recovering alcoholic daughter for being teetotalers. Jenny's world is starting to unravel. Everywhere she looks, she sees wineglasses. She excuses herself and heads for the study where she pours herself a glass of red wine. Now, I'm no alcoholic, but if TV has taught me anything, it's that the alkies prefer the hard stuff, not the Merlot. David arrives just in time and knocks the glass onto the floor. I would have made a snide comment about this, but Jenny beat me to it with a remark about her dad having rug insurance. She then delivers the line of the night: "I've got this emotional baggage that's pole-vaulting down my brain stem." Wow -- I don't know what it means, but it's a really good line. Though he's probably a little stunned himself, David won't support her habit -- not hers, not anyone's! He storms off, but that little bit of tough love was enough to get her to put down the drink -- on the bar this time.

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