West Wing
Ninety Miles Away

Episode Report Card
Cuba Libre. Or Maybe A Mojito.

You know how these recaps are usually really long because I include lots and lots of dialogue? Well, fuck that. There's a ton of dialogue in this episode, but it's just not worth repeating. Because it's crap.

A fucking subtitle tells us that it's Monday morning. Leo walks through the darkened and seemingly empty West Wing while a wet snow falls outside the window. He sits at his desk, picks up the phone, dials, and then asks for "Jorge, por favor." Leo starts speaking Spanish while some Spanish guitar plays in the background. Strum strum strum. I think I see Zorro hiding behind a curtain.

Jed, his cane, and a Secret Service agent are walking down a hallway while Leo continues to speak on the phone. Strum strum strum. The Queen of Swords and Marta are climbing through a window.

Leo wraps up his call, saying "Gracias, Jorge. Hasta luego." Strum strum strum. Leo looks at the, how you say? Ah, yes, whiteboard, which now reads "330" at the top. For those who are curious, there are four columns on the board. The one labeled "health care" has a lot of stuff written in it. There's also one labeled "race," which has a couple of items. The two columns labeled "Latin America" and "drug policy" are empty. There are some additional notes at the bottom, which I can't make out. Leo gets up and walks over to the board, erases the "330," and replaces it with a "329." At that moment, Jed limps in and asks Leo if he knows what time it is. And then he answers his own question, telling us that it's "a little after 5 AM." Leo apologizes for calling Jed so early, and Jed complains about "the gauntlet" (by which he means "gantlet") he had to run in the Residence to get out so early. And then Jed picks up a book sitting on a side table and starts reading aloud: "The world breaks everyone, and afterwards many are strong at the broken places, but those that will not break, it kills. It kills the very good, and the very gentle, and the very brave impartially." Leo talks about what a son of a bitch Hemingway was, and Jed wants to know what the hell that has to do with Leo calling him at 5 in the morning. Leo tells Jed that he's been on the phone and that "there's a rumor about Castro." Jed doesn't see what the big deal is. Leo starts blathering about talks they've been conducting with Cuba and how he wants them to achieve some results before the end of Bartlet's second term. Now Jed wants to know what that has to do with Hemingway. Dude, make up your mind. Either you want to know why he's reading Hemingway or you don't. Leo tells him that it's been ten years since he read all of Hemingway. Apparently, he read Hemingway's complete works in the thirty days that he was in rehab. Which, as we all know, was actually twelve years ago, not ten. I don't know who's a bigger hack -- John Sacret Young for writing this crap, or John Wells for putting it on the air. Leo tells Jed that he has an idea. Strum strum strum. I have a sudden craving for fajitas.

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West Wing




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