The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 4

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 12 USERS: B-
The Experience Music Elsewhere Project

Welcome to The Voice where everything's made up and the points don't matter. We're in the middle week of the Blind Auditions, which means that we will see some decent performances but nothing worth shitting your pants over. This show usually front- and back-loads the audition rounds with the top singers, so if there's an old pregnancy pact-centric episode of a crime show lurking on your DVR I suggest you watch that instead. All my ladies who love a pregnancy pact episode put yo hands up.

The government has shut down, but The Voice soldiers on, in spite of its "non-essential" nature. That's what's so great about this show. It will always be on, keeping pleather jacket and fedora companies in business year-round. The coaches "arrive" on set for another "day" of auditions, but it must be killing at least Christina to wear the same outfit so many times in a row. Cee Lo got to change, at least for his arrival footage. I don't know why they bother with this charade.

Speaking of charades, Carson is pretending to drive that car again. He's visiting some guy who's hoping to follow in his musician father's footsteps. The contestant's name is Will Champlin and his father was in Chicago. What must his dad think of this "reality TV" and "YouTube" and "twerking"? Bill says it's all about visibility, which is getting harder and harder to come by, because of all the crap and distracting puppy videos online.

Will (hahaha, Will and Bill) falls under several categories of Voice contestants: living in a famous family member's shadow, wanting to live up to a parent's legacy, and young dad with cool glasses. Will's wife is smokin' hot. She must be in real estate or something to support them. But enough about her, she doesn't matter, this is Will's time. So he straps on his suspenders and heads for the stage. Follow your dreams, daddy.

Will sings "Not Over You" and he has a good rock voice that can go nice and high so I can't wait until one of the coaches makes him sing some Journey. Is this Gavin DeGraw? The internet tells me that yes, it is, and this must be a good choice for Will because he sounds a lot like Gavin DeGraw. Blake turns his chair first, followed by Adam and Cee Lo. Christina politely nods from the privacy of her un-turned chair.

Adam starts things off by telling Will he has an incredible voice and he can't think of one thing that wasn't spectacular in that performance. These high-voiced guys have to stick together, and I feel like Will should pick Adam. Cee Lo plays it cool, agreeing with Adam but offering that if the feeling of interest is reciprocated he would love to have Will on his team. I'm starting to think Cee Lo doesn't really care, and his apathy is starting to show underneath that henna head tattoo. Blake promises Will that they could win this thing together and Will doesn't know he says that to all the girls.

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The Voice




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