The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 3

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: A- | Grade It Now!
Maybe I'm Amazed?

No judges' performance tonight, thank god. Instead we get right down to it, with Carson telling us to play along with him and see if we'd pick the next artist without looking at them. I completely forgot that they did this last year. I actually like this twist, though there's something a little serial killer about the shadowy interviews where you don't get to see the faces.

So, playing along, there's a young man (I think, though it could be a deep voiced and manly dressed young woman) who says that his voice doesn't match what people expect. Record labels have told him that his look is bringing him down, and if he'd have a makeover, he could have a contract. OK then. The man (I thought and am more convinced it is a woman) sings "You and I." Could this be this season's gender confused chair spin? Cee Lo turns his chair, but I wouldn't have turned mine. How much do you think it would cost to get a turntable attached to the bottom of my couch? Probably a lot, right? I'm not sure when else it could be used. Scary movies? So my weaker-stomached friends could turn around instead of covering their eyes? Whenever Chris Harrison comes out on The Bachelor? Maybe it's not the wisest investment.

Anyway, back to the game, he, who is actually a she named Sarah Golden, didn't vocally impress me and I thought she messed up some of the words. The judges like her, and Christina claims she didn't spin her chair because she has a twang to her voice. Sarah says that she considers herself more of a folk singer, and not a country singer. Cee Lo would like to increase his diversity by adding her to his team. Blake teases that she'd be an experiment, and he'd take her as she is. Adam is suspiciously silent. Sarah deliberates for a while and Cee Lo says that he only wants people on his team who want him, and she says she wants them both. Cee Lo doles out the expected, "you can't handle us both." And while it's an easy quip, it's really true. Could you imagine trying to deal with Cee Lo's peacock feathers hitting you in the face while Blake brought up his wife every five seconds? It's a nightmare. Eventually, Sarah selects Cee Lo, and he's happy. Blake is faux angry and says that Cee Lo is normally asleep during the show behind those big sunglasses. Carson asks a giddy Sarah what swayed her, and she says it was Cee Lo's inappropriateness. Well, maybe she'll survive his crazy ass yet.

Up next is a super blonde girl named Elley Duhe. She's 19 and has devoted her whole life to music, and skipped school for gigs, and even dropped out before her senior year and her parents encouraged it. Great job, parents. She gets up on stage and does some really awful dance moves (good thing the judges can't see her). She's performing "Mercy" and it's a whinier more '60s sounding version of the song. Who knew this song could be more annoying than when Duffy sings it? The longer this goes on, the more I dislike her nasally voice, and the judges agree. Everyone sighs about how cute she is, like they just collectively kicked a puppy. Adam compliments her last note (which is generous) and doesn't come right out and say that if the rest of the song didn't suck so much he'd have chosen her, but he insinuates it. Christina tells her she's only 19 and life goes on and to stay positive. She goes backstage to her parents, and maybe now they'll realize that letting her drop out of school wasn't the best idea in the world.

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The Voice




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