The Voice
The Blind Auditions, Part 3

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C+ | 3 USERS: B
Family Circus

I've just had a terrible melodrama, so expect this episode's recap to come in extra spicy (angry). For example, all of a sudden I am super offended that they show footage of the audience going in and allow us to assume it's people lining up to audition. The classic Daly Misdirection. Also, Carson says they're coming across some of the best talent they've seen in five seasons and that is completely subjective. Blake describes "so many four chair turns" and I think we're at like, three maybe so far. Basically, I want The Voice to bring back Usher and I need someone committed to making me 300 sandwiches.

So this episode Carson promises artists from "all walks of life," but they all have one thing in common: a voice! Ain't no mermaids with new legs for love up in these parts. Blake walks in to the studio with his three Voice trophies to bring out and stroke at opportune moments. Why are there even trophies for this stupid thing? And why does Blake get them? He's not going to put those next to his Grammys or even his participant ribbons or whatever he got for doing that Christmas special for NBC alongside Michael Buble (I believe they call that award a Bublie). I'm sure Cassadee Pope's mantel has a lot of empty space on it.

"That's how many Grammys I have," Adam zings Blake upon seeing his trophy collection. He may be a dick, but I like when Adam directs his saltiness toward the people I also dislike.

Without further a douchebag, the first contestant is introduced. It's Ray Boudreaux and with a name like that he could only be from Lafayette, Louisiana. He looks pretty squeaky clean; he's a single dad and his daughter means everything to him blah blah. He cuts grass for a living during the day, you know, when he's not giggin'. He talks about how his daughter is "full of life" and "brings out the life in me," which means that children are exhausting. This should come as no surprise.

Ray chose "Use Me Up" by Bill Withers for his audition song and while I like that song, Ray is definitely a white guy. In the mood to have another white guy on his team, Blake turns his chair. Despite the cheesy white guy faces Ray is making, I like what he is doing with this song to suit his style. Cee Lo obligingly pushes his button for someone who chose a soul song. Adam threatens to push his button after seeing Blake's reaction to Cee Lo's turn, but it is all a ruse.

Adam calls Ray's voice "epically cool" after noting that he looks like Blake and sounds like Cee Lo. Blake and Cee Lo go through the motions of fighting over Ray, something Blake is much more accustomed to. Ray goes with Blake.

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The Voice




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