The Voice
The Battles, Week 2

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
Baker, Baker

We jump right into Team Christina sending two more warriors into battle. The first pairing is Geoff McBride (who did "Higher Ground" and wants to be a hero to his gaggle of kids) and Sera Hill (the hotel clerk who Xtina hopped on stage and annoyingly sang with during the blind auditions) are doing the showy Aretha tune "Chain of Fools." Geoff keeps his glasses on constantly, which bothers me, unless he's blind. Maybe he's blind? I've forgotten the auditions. If that's it, then he's excused. Otherwise, he should take the glasses off unless he wants to join Team Cee Lo.

During the first practice round, they both try and out-belt each other. Sera plans on channeling her inner diva in order to out-sing Geoff. He's so damned loud, though, she's got her work cut out for her. Geoff flips out when he meets Lionel Richie, and as soon as he starts singing, Lionel is blown away. He actually has to step back because Geoff's voice is so powerful. Christina starts talking big hand gestures. Lionel asks him if he has to wear glasses, Geoff simply says yes, and Lionel says that eye contact would make his performance stronger. I agree wholeheartedly.

Sera's happy to meet Jewel (who is wearing the most boring pink mom shirt ever). Christina likes Sera's "crispy" runs (whatever the hell that means) and Jewel tells Sera to tap into emotional vulnerability to combat Geoff's volume. I dunno, Christina's not into subtlety, I think that's bad advice in this case.

Battle night, Sera is poured into a tight white bustier and sexy white pants, while Geoff is wearing an all black ensemble, and glasses with clear lenses. What a massive improvement. Sera teeters out and she can barely move, which can't be good for breath control. Christina is still wearing that stupid plate on her head, so this was obviously filmed the same night as the ones we saw last week, despite this show trying to magic me with their math. Then, either Courtney did something disgusting on The Bachelor, or the combined power of Geoff and Sera's voices overwhelmed my cable box, and it briefly cut off and rebooted.

I watched online, and I'm unimpressed by both of them. Sera's doing her best wedding singer, waving her hand around like she just don't care and hopping up and down like a little kid who needs to go to the potty. Geoff seems like he's harmonizing and performing back up more than actually singing the song for himself. Can I pick neither? Is that an option? Cee Lo liked the energy and thinks that they are like a group, he picks Geoff, who kept it in control. Blake thinks they are great and steals a line from Cee Lo's play book about being turned on, and goes with Sera. But Blake is interrupted by Adam, who wants to get his two cents in even though Carson clearly skipped him. Christina likes that Sera pumped up the crowd, and Geoff is a great performer who doesn't back down. She claims they both have grown, which I didn't notice. Sera and her gigantic glittery earrings (that I really secretly want) are moving on to the next round. Maybe she'll get pants that fit next time! Her hot mom, who looks younger than Sera, is super psyched. Geoff is grateful that at 51 he got to do something like this in front of his mother. Cee Lo thinks that Xtina should have kept the more soulful Geoff.

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The Voice




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