The Voice
The Battles Begin

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
Fight the Power

We're finally, finally, finally done with the blind auditions, so no more hydraulics needed to spin those chairs. Now it's time to get to the actual mentoring business, and each judge has two "special friends" to help them out. Adam's got Alanis Morisette and Robin Thicke; Blake's got Kelly Clarkson and Miranda Lambert; Cee Lo has Babyface and Ne-Yo; Christina has Jewel and Lionel Richie. Most of those make sense, but Xtina's choices seem a little bit off whack. Once they train the artists, they pair up two people from their team to fight to the death (if only) and eventually, per Carson's annoying voiceover, each coach will get down to six singers for the live shows. Then America gets to decide. Good god, that makes it sound like this show is going to go on for the rest of my damned life. Help me!

Adam's up first, welcoming his twelve singers. He's put Mr. Mickey Mouse Club Tony Lucca against Chris Cauley (the guy who performed with his grandma at local nursing homes), and they are doing U2's "Beautiful Day." Chris is bummed that he's going against someone actually talented. They are starting to do some work on their song, and going note by note, and Adam's freaked about having to cut one of them.

Adam sets Tony up with Alanis Morissette as a mentor. She actually looks pretty great, even with the ever-present insanely long hair. She's having some sort of spiritual discussion with Tony, and the poor pianist sitting there looks about as bored as I am. Adam thinks that his voice sounds like he's trying too hard.

Chris gets to work with Robin, who could honestly be Adam's brother, though at least Adam takes his sunglasses off indoors. There's talk about nailing every line, even the low ones, and Robin has little to add. One wonders why he even bothered to show up.

And now for the head-to-head showdown. Though I'm already over the producers trying to make it seem like it is just these guys competing this week, and there aren't a whole bunch of simultaneous people working on their performances as well. I'm so sure that Alanis and Robin just sat around waiting, or they filled an audience up for one battle round. I guess it's an editing thing, but it makes me feel like they think I'm stupid enough to believe their forced false timeline.

Tony Lucca's little girl is in the audience, and she's pretty freakin' adorable with her Martian pigtails. It would be sad for her to see her dad go home. Christina perks her ears up like a puppy when Carson mentions her name, and looks sheepishly embarrassed that she didn't remember Tony on first glance. Oh, I forgot how much I like that they set up a little boxing ring around the stage. It always gives me hope that there could be a stray punch being thrown, especially given how these two dudes are flailing around. They are both fine, but Chris actually seems to be enjoying himself. Tony looks tortured, though he might have the stronger voice. It's a full version of this song. I'd have been OK with a snippet, as I think we could have figured out which guy to keep 30 seconds in.

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The Voice




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