The Voice
Season 5 – Top 20 – Live Eliminations

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C | 19 USERS: B+
The House of the Rising White Dude

This week, we're treated with a third episode of The Voice and people who have no lives are like, "oh, yay! My friends are back on the television box!" I'm pleased that Christina is wearing a better top than that ribbed funnel-neck contraption she had on in rehearsals. They are my fake friends, I guess.

Carson says this week's vote must have been difficult since all the performances were so good. Eight performers will go home, though, so it's time to let go a little. Team Blake, or what's left of it, performs first. I never realized how Team Blake is mostly white dudes with soulful, country/rock voices and Shelbie Z. It will be good for Blake to lose two of these characters, since they are not diverse enough to keep. They sing "Free Ride" and battling white dudes Cole and Austin play instruments. They're both wearing hats, too, so one of them should probably go home. The other person who should go home on this team is Nic Hawk, who took an awkward white boy dance break in the middle of this country-rock song. This must end. He's like Ray Boudreaux's younger, annoying twin.

This results show can not be over soon enough. It is 90% fluff. But you know, I like spending an hour with my TV friends. America's votes are in and the two artists with the most votes will represent their coach in the Top 12 finals, plus one of Blake's choosing. I hope the top two on this team are Shelbie Z. and Cole Vosbury. Then, Blake can save Ray Boudreaux to round it out. Before we can get on with eliminating our new television friends, Carson congratulates Blake on whatever he won on the CMAs.

The first artist moving forward is Austin Jenckes. I don't know that I agree with that. The other save belongs to Cole Vosbury. America has a type, I guess, and it's bearded, hat-wearing white dudes with soulful voices . Blake has to choose who to save among Nic, Shelbie, and Ray. Blake says he is going with his gut and who he thinks he can affect change with the most. That had better mean Shelbie. Blake chooses Ray, predicting that he can have the most success with him. I am devastated about Shelbie, who is my girl now and forever. But the cuts are going to keep on coming, so I'd better buckle my Voicebelt.

Presenting a rock classic next, it's Team Cee Lo with "Give a Little Bit." It opens with Jonny Grey, who I'm still not convinced about, then the newly-sexy Caroline Pennell and Amber Nicole, followed by Tamara Chauniece and the exhausting Kat Robichaud. I always wish Kat wasn't on Team Cee Lo. But the odds are ever in our favor that our favorites will not continue. Technically, 60% of each team is in the bottom this week. I like Kat even less in this skin-tight plaid onesie. No one really shines in this average performance. I'd like to see Tamara and Caroline get the top two spots, and I guess Jonny Grey to move forward as the coach pick. These cuts are really quite drastic. I applaud The Voice for making them.

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The Voice




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