The Voice
Season 5 – The Blind Auditions, Part 5

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B- | 9 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
This Time, With Feelings

The Voice keeps marching on, and we keep watching it even if it's just to get Miley Cyrus out of our heads. As much as we like to tell ourselves "things don't run we," these are not the facts of life/adulthood. Last week we powered through the B average auditions so that we might get to the good stuff in these last two rounds of the Blinds.

Oh, and are you keeping score? I hope not, because I will let you in on the little secret that it's all a sham. Christina is "in the lead" with 11 artists. Blake has 10, Cee Lo has nine and Adam is also at 10. Cee Lo must be lagging behind because he doesn't give a rat's ass. This much is evident.

The first audition of the night comes from Matt Cermanski, who has auditioned before. Did he audition before this season? He looks really familiar, like we just saw him last week. Last "season" Matt performed "Teenage Dream" and he says that in his opinion it wasn't the best choice for a blind audition. But he picked it anyway, I guess, his own opinions be damned!

Carson, an expert in making people feel uncomfortable without realizing it, asks Matt to watch his performance from last season. It must have gotten montaged over because it was boring as hell. When asked what he wants to improve on, Matt notices that he was not playing his guitar for that performance, so he would definitely improve by having a guitar. This is all leading up to the big mystery of the audition: who made Matt Cermanski audition in Season 4 and didn't let him make any of the decisions? It's an outrage, and whoever is responsible should just come forward.

I feel like we already know too much about Matt, but the show insists we hear more about what he's been doing to find himself as an artist, and that we watch this video of him singing on the toilet. Get out, get out, get out, Matt. Get off my TV and take your guitar with you.

To be fair, toilet singing video aside, Matt sounds much better singing "Have a Little Faith in Me." Adam pushes his button, and his face does not register recognition or even caring when his chair turns. Blake turns his chair as well, and Adam puts on a half-assed show of concern. After Cee Lo turned his chair, Adam even gives Matt a standing ovation.

"You were on last season," Adam observes, "and you sang "Teenage Dream" and we didn't pick you because it was weird." Blake sickly compares the performance to a cat playing with a mouse. Adam and Blake argue with each other and Cee Lo seems to have forgotten that he pushed his button. Matt chooses Adam and finally we can stop thinking about him.

1 2 3 4 5Next

The Voice

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP