The Voice
Season 5 – The Battles Premiere

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B- | 12 USERS: A-
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Misery Loves Harmony

Speaking of Christina, her first battle is up next. She has teamed up with Ed Sheeran and beautiful, pink glowing makeup. Oh my god, Christina looks so good. Her first battle is between Amber Nicole and Timyra-Joi. We don't remember Amber Nicole as well and I certainly remember marveling at the spelling of Timyra-Joi's name so I have a feeling I know how this battle is going to go.

Amber Nicole has a great, big voice, though. She just hasn't seen as much hardship as Timyra-Joi, who is 15 and lives with her insane looking vocal coach. I wonder if Christina has made any demands on how she's lit because she looks like a soft focus angel. Anyway, these two are singing "Listen" by Beyonce from Dreamgirls. Christina says these young girls remind her of herself, and so far everything is how I've always wanted Christina to behave on this show.

In rehearsals, Christina notices that Timyra-Joi has a bit of a vocal shake, which is likely from nerves. Ed Sheeran tries to pipe in but what could he possibly have to offer these girls in the way of coaching? A goofy smile? Amber is making progress already and connects to the song more easily than Timyra-Joi. In the final rehearsal, Timyra-Joi has caught up and it's back to being "anyone's game." And Christina couldn't help but show how she would sing a few bars of the song. And of course it is fucking flawless.

I must say, I don't like this whole, "I'm the girl who always has a flower or some big thing in my hair" thing that Timyra-Joi seems to have latched onto. Amber Nicole, though without a leather jacket, looks more polished. Also, I don't care to continue spelling Timyra-Joi's full, hyphenated name time and again. I prefer Amber's voice, too. Timyra-Joi sounds like she's doing an impression of a much older woman. They are both great singers, though, that goes without saying.

The girls don't work well together, but that has never been a spoken requirement of the battle rounds. This is really a battle, and nobody is here to make friends.

"Timyra-Joi and Amber sang the roof off the place!" Carson says, whitely, "Coach Christina is in tears." Christina is touched because that little girl in the story was her! Cee Lo says he prefers Amber because her voice is very warm, but Timyra-Joi's voice has a lot of "cut," so he is actually going to give this one to Timyra-Joi. Adam says it is a legitimate battle. Blake says making Christina cry is a win for both of them, and he meant that positively and without a hint of evil.

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The Voice

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