The Voice
Results Show

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | Grade It Now!
Total Request Live, Redux

It's The Voice, and for your Thanksgiving this week, Carson Daly is getting rid of two people from this show. Also, Christina is getting gradually more Asian. I've figured it out and that's what it is.

Rascal Flatts performs at random with two obligatory artists for this results show, and Adam and Christina will perform with their teams. After a recap of the performance show (with Blake and Christina's duet mysteriously absent), Carson announces that all ten artists charted on iTunes and at the close of voting, two of them were in the Top 10, just barely able to compete with "Gangnam Style" and Taylor Swift. Melanie Martinez reached #8, and Cassadee Pope hit #1 (why?), beating out what Carson pronounced, "Gon-gom Style."

God, this season just turned into an endless promotion of Christina Aguilera's new album, "Lotus." I wonder if it's part of Christina's contract that she needs to be able to debut at least five songs from her album, which has yet to chart on iTunes like Cassadee Pope has. I hear "Lotus" is good from one person. That person is named Carson Daly and I bet he hasn't actually listened to it. But we keep getting samples from it in the form of performances on The Voice. Tonight Christina and her team sing "Let There Be Love." I use "and her team" lightly, because they pretty much just sing along to the background vocals, sitting in Christina's chair and trying to guess how Asian the singer behind them is.

What a surprise, they hit the button and then join Christina on stage to be her "hype people." I'll go ahead and say it -- I don't think I'm a big fan of Christina's new album. I also don't think it's fair that her team had to sing a song from it, while the rest of the teams get to sing songs people have heard.

For the first time ever -- thanks to Starbucks -- we get to "choose" what two teams will begrudgingly half-ass on this episode of The Voice. THANK YOU, STARBUCKS. We can have Teams Christina and Blake sing "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," or Teams Cee Lo and Adam sing "I Want You to Want Me." This has about as much purpose as the Christina Milian Skybox and even less purpose for the West Coast. Let's keep that hashtag going, though. #VoiceWantMe

Next, Adam simultaneously evades Carson's question about "who's the biggest competition," and disses TRL. Team Adam is its own biggest competition and Carson can go suck an egg. Christina promotes her album, her team and her album some more. Then, Carson continues to prove that his relevance and musical hipness are things of the past.

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The Voice




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