The Voice
Live Eliminations

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: C- | 8 USERS: C-
Twitter? I Hardly Know 'Er

Carson has mustered up the enthusiasm to do another results show and he's got probably seven or so left. Carson says that no matter what, two artists are going home tonight… but The Voice has introduced yet another save. Yes, tonight we all have the opportunity to be a savior through Twitter -- everyone except the West Coast. The bottom three artists will be revealed and everyone but the West Coast can tweet who they want to save. As long as we see two people go home I'll be happy.

Before we can save anyone, though, we get a second look at who exactly we're tweeting about. Christina has a strong team; Blake's team is too similar and was mostly forgettable aside from Cole Vosbury; and Team CeeLo has the longest hair, combined. Carson announces that they had a record number of downloads on iTunes and one artist even hit #2. I'm hoping it was Cole, who had the most original performance of the night.

Next, Sara Bareilles performs, but can't do so without being joined by Jacquie, Kat, Caroline and Tessanne (all the girls of the competition) to ruin her song even worse than Katy Perry already did. Sara Bareilles looks a little tired and a little reluctant to be doing this. Adam pretends to be paying attention, but I can tell he's thinking about sub sandwiches. Something occurs to me as I watch one of my favorite contemporary artists perform: this performance would not fly on a performance episode of The Voice, but Sara Bareilles can't be that invested in it, either.

The audience goes wild when the girls of The Voice Season 5 parade out, looking like they had a rough night at prom. Jacquie Lee, in particular, looks like a Romanichal gypsy. The girls each get half a line and I sort of wish Tessanne was singing the whole song. Sara Bareilles really doesn't care whether this goes well or not. It's a relief when it ends, and a relief that Kat is not wearing a diaper for the first time on the live shows.

Carson asks Adam how he feels about losing control and Adam, predictably, hates it. I'm just glad Adam is wearing suits again and CeeLo is wearing fancy Geordi La Forge glasses. CeeLo lets Christina wear them and they look cool on everyone (except Geordi because he's a loser). I also like Christina's little letterman jacket. Blake's outfit has no surprises and neither does his response to Carson.

Oh crap, I had almost forgotten about those annoying Voice Confessionals, but the first one is upon us. We learn that Austin was on a unicycling team, Tessanne loves the royal family, Matthew wet the bed until he was seven and Christina has four dogs, one of which is named Nugget. Caroline can't whistle, but some other contestants can. Jonny gets mistaken for a girl, no surprise. James can juggle and does an impression of Kermit the Frog. Cole jokes about keeping a pen in his beard. Adam Levine got a new puppy, but that gives CeeLo an excuse to show off all his hilarious animals. He has a pig named Little Richard, but we all love the cat Perfect the best. The winner of this confessional is a three-way tie between Cole, Caroline and Blake for making the best jokes and being the most likeable. Oh scratch that – literally -- because the winner of the confessional is Perfect the Cat.

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The Voice




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