The Voice
Elimination, Week 1

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: C | Grade It Now!
Eight Is More Than Enough

It's the live eliminations and the 12 members that make up Team Christina and Team Blake are flanking Carson on stage. Obligatory judge introductions. Since it is unlikely that Adam or Blake will provide much fashion entertainment ever, we'll skip them. Cee Lo more than makes up for it. He's ditched the James Brown wig and is now in a jacket that is completely studded in rhinestones and has spikes on the epaulets. Christina is squeezed into a tangerine dress and looks... tasteful. That's a bummer. Carson says that each team has three safe members based on the audience voting, and then the other three get to sing again, and the coach can save just one person. So four people total are going home. There are a lot of unnecessary steps. Also, Gym Class Heroes is happening tonight. Why? Why does that have to happen? It seems like a lot squeezed into the hour, maybe I can pass out during GCH's song.

Recaps of last night's performances. I haven't changed my mind about any of these people since then. Still worried about Naia, but think that Lindsey and Jesse really stood out. Carson says that all of the artists charted, and Jordis hit number one... on the rock chart. Not the main chart. God forbid anyone knock out the triple tween dream of Bieber, One Direction and Carly Rae Jepsen. I have songs by all of them on my iPod. I have a six-year-old. Those two things don't necessarily have anything to do with each other, but it's my backup defense, just in case. Blake says that it sucks that he can only save one person. Oh, Christina's dress does have these strange cutouts that look like eyeholes and cut very close to her nipples. And she's still not wearing a bra, but this garment has a little more support than last night's.

Gym Class Heroes (who we're reminded had a song with Adam, which played on nonstop loop at, coincidentally enough, my gym for the last several months) are on stage with Team Adam, sans Adam himself. They are doing the utterly forgettable "Ass Back Home" with Neon Hitch (who is wearing metal planter hooks on her shoulders with a pair of Sandy's tight spandex pants from Grease). Travie spends a lot of the time randomly waving to people, like he's a fourth grader in his first school play. And Team Adam is out in the audience "singing," but we don't actually hear them AT ALL. It's like the sound producers forgot to turn on their mics. On purpose? I honestly would have rather had them do "Stereo Hearts", and have Adam perform, but perhaps he's too hungover from last night. Or possibly still drunk. He hasn't uttered a word yet, so only time will tell.

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The Voice




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