The Voice
Blind Auditions, Part 2

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
Purple Pain
Previously: This show aired in the plum post-Super Bowl timeslot, because nothing says drunk post-football haze like a strangely Snooki-looking Christina Aguilera.

Oh crap, they are just diving right in with the crazy tonight. The four judges are doing a Prince medley. For some reason, this requires Cee Lo to wear red sparkly footie pajamas; Adam to wear skinny jeans and the tightest tank top he could find; Blake to look remarkably like a guy reluctantly doing karaoke somewhere in the Midwest; and Christina to put on an ill-fitting leather corset and a put a porcupine on her head. They do about ten seconds each of "1999," "Little Red Corvette," "I Wanna Be Your Lover" and "Kiss." Not sure what is wrong with me, but the "Kiss" section that gets real country with Blake doing the lead is the best, though Christina tries to make it all about her ... naturally. The best part of these group sings is everyone trying to out-star each other and Christina trying to do runs, while Adam's attempting to be all rock star cool, Cee Lo's doing his best to be freaky without moving his body too much and Blake's M.O. is to not embarrass himself.

Carson is beside himself excited for having witnessed such a landmark event, and when we finally get back to the judging, it seems that they coaches have returned to their clothing from the previous episode, thanks to the magic of TV editing.

First up are a duo who go by the name of The Line. It's comprised of a Hailey and Leland who met when he hit on her at a bar. They say that most people think they are in a relationship, but he says they have a brother and sister vibe, she says they are more like an old married couple. It's like a younger, more wholesome, less talented version of The White Stripes.

They sing "American Girl." Blake turns around before Hailey even comes in, and he's gobsmacked to see two people. Eventually all four judges spin their chairs around. Cee Lo's first question is if they are a couple, and subsequent comments about their sexual chemistry ensue. Christina tries to throw Blake under the bus by saying he sent a duo home. Blake tries to use his wife to win over the country twanged singers. After much discussion, they decide to go with Christina. Adam swears, and Christina starts doing a victory dance. I am still concerned she's going to fall out of her dress.

Carson travels to New York to meet 29-year-old Jamar Rogers, a former crystal meth addict who is HIV positive. He works with a charity organization helping other people. Carson sneaks up on him, and Jamar freaks out. As would I if skeletal looking Carson Daly creeped up behind me while I was unloading a van. Seriously, warn a person. And when did they let Carson do something? I almost always skip these little intro packages, so I don't know if they let him do this before, but he's acting like he personally discovered these people and was the one who decided to invite them to audition for this show. This whole audition process confuses me, as it's unclear how these pseudo-talented people wound up here in the first place. But I'm not going to question it too much, since it means I don't have to suffer through tone deaf idiots like Idol.

1 2 3 4 5Next

The Voice




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP