Tomorrow People

Episode Report Card
Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

John: I'm working out. Shirtless.

Audience: At this point, you're making us feel cheap.

John: But I'm sweating in that "just enough" way.

Morgan: Stephen will never get in Jedikiah's head, because Jed is too cautious, but maybe I can find out the location of Roger's body.

John: Ask Cara.

Morgan: Dude?

John: Dude.

Morgan: Cover for me, while I'm gone?

John: If you get caught in Jed's brain, you won't come back.

Meanwhile, Stephen confronts Russell about the Princess Sugar Tits picture.

Russell: Girl was a total player.

Stephen: And you fell for her?

Russell: Russell does not fall.

TIM: Russell, I'm sorry to report my search for Talia has proven fruitless.

Russell: Shut up, Cousin Matthew. We have unfinished business. I can't let Ultra get her.

Stephen: It's cool. Her rose is totally rare. I think that's what my lines mean.

TIM: That particular varietal might be found locally at blah blee bloo.

Russell: I can't believe she actually went through with it. Now, let's flash back four years, to my amateur porn/Victoria's Secret Ad, with Princess Sugar Tits. Ahem, I mean, Talia.

Recapper: Next!

Russell: But, sex? I'm going to have it.

Recapper: And I'm so proud of you, but I'm not dwelling. In bed, Princess Sugar Tits decides they should use their powers for good. Russell is game. He hands her a long stem red rose and tells her that she can be the Scarlet Pimpernel and he'll be the Scarlet Pimp. If you people knew how much awkward CW sex I was sparing you right now, you would fund my child's first year in college. Princess Sugar Tits lays a Venetian mask over her eyes and says, "Come here, pimp." DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?

Recapper: TIM wakes Russell and Stephen with news that their target just broke into the Rockefeller Gardens to pilfer her signature roses. She's already gone, though, but TIM tracked her to a bar in Little Saigon.

Stephen: You been here before?

Russell: Two thousand miles between Korea and South Vietnam.

Recapper: Oh, spare me. Anyhow, Stephen picks up that their target is "under" them. Shut up. In a basement, Asian men of ambiguous ethnicity are up to no good, because this is TV. The Red Avenger poofs into their space. They fire upon her. She poofs away. This continues, interspersed with ass kicking. Eventually, Stephen and Russell arrive on the scene. The Red Avenger starts fighting them too, even though they say they're on her side. The Asian men of ambiguous ethnicity flee. Russell is convinced this masked avenger is his Princess Sugar Tits, but then she whips off her mask.

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Tomorrow People




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