Tomorrow People

Episode Report Card
Too Much, Too Little, Too Late

Cara: Sorry, Stephen. If you want to chance your life on a theory, you'll have to do it on your own.

Audience: Did she just resign as Candle-Anointed Leader?

Recapper: Russell says he has a better idea, and apparently it involves him taking the manchild out to drink shots.

Stephen: I'm 25.

Recapper: No, you're not, and that's one of my bitter complaints. Stephen is 18. The actor who plays him is 25ish.

Russell: I telepathically pluck a woman's cherry.

Recapper: From her drink.

Russell: *Quirk quirk quirk*

Women: *Flee*

Stephen: I'm sorry, Russell. I'm less interested in talking up girls, more interested in finding my dad's body.

Russell: *Quirky look*

Stephen: Ew! That sounded super weird.

Recapper: No, it would have sounded "super weird" if you said you were less interested in talking up girls and more interested in your dad's body.

Writers: Shit. That's totally what we meant.

Recapper: Doesn't count. Next!

Stephen: Great. Hillary just texted me about a breakout who thinks she's a superhero. She saves people, then leaves behind a rose as a calling card.

Russell: *Flashes back*

Recapper: Four years ago, Russell, and his then very poofy auntie-hair were living large in casinos, thanks to the three Ts.

Russell: I laid my my whole wad on 35 Black.

Readers: We don't want to know what that means, do we?

Recapper: He bet all his chips on that number in Roulette.

Readers: Thank goodness.

Princess Glitter Tits: *Bets on 16 Red*

Russell: *Snaps so my number hits*

Princess Glitter Tits: *Snaps so my number hits*

Recapper: Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Princess Glitter Tits wins. Russell chases after her and asks what gives. She tells him he was playing too hot for his own good. The casino goons were ready to work him over. Telling him he's welcome, she hands him a long stem red rose and swans off. Russell and his auntie hair are intrigued.

Stephen: Back in the present, Russell asks me if Ultra's going to take this new breakout's powers. I tell him, no. They're going to kill her.

Title card.

Sponsors: A word.

Recapper: When Stephen arrives at Ultra, he finds Hillary, who berates him for smelling like a brewery (or a frat house, or something else boozy, that isn't worth our time for me to rewind and specify). When he lies that he was home living a clean American boy's life, she points out the club bracelet on his arm. Hillary is currently terrorizing some SAP blogger or conspiracy theorist who has been tracking someone to whom he refers as the New York Red Avenger. Stephen chases Hillary out of the room, so he can play "Good Cop" to her "Bad Cop," confesses she scares the hell out of him, and flips through the file as the Blogger blahs a lot at him that matters nothing to this episode. What does matter is the case file. As Stephen flips through it, he recognizes Russell in a security photo -- standing two people away from Princess Sugar Tits, aka, the "New York Red Avenger." We cut to the lair.

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Tomorrow People




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