Surreal Life
A Talk Show, Supper And A Goodbye

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Dirty Laundry

A very special issue of The Surreal Times arrives with the headline "Trishelle stays! Time for last supper!" They have a big farewell dinner, photos from the last two weeks dotting the table. Erik says that since they haven't said Grace at all while they've been there, they should do it at their last dinner together. Ice doesn't want to and rolls his eyes because he's a hardcore rapper, man. Hardcore rappers don't believe in saying Grace. Erik tells him to hold hands, and he grudgingly does. Tammy says Grace and lets everyone know that she's drinking apple juice. What a shocker. Talk turns to the fact that this will all be over the next day. Dinner's eaten, and gifts begin to get opened. Erik gives Trishelle a pair of jeans. Ron gives Traci a gaudy outfit made of lace and Kleenex. Traci gives Erik a Sheriff t-shirt because she mistakenly thought she'd been rooming with Andy Griffith for the last two weeks. Tammy Faye bought Ice an alien boxing hand puppet since he thinks we're all aliens on this planet. Ice bought Tammy Faye a skirt and a purse. Trishelle got Ron an eyeball candle to remind him of his stint as the one-eyed monster. Everyone hugs and talks about what great gifts they got, and it's kind of like one of those awkward office Christmas parties where everyone got shitty gifts but they have to act like they'll cherish them forever when they're really getting put in a yard-sale box as soon as they get home.

Ice says it's hard to believe that they have been together for twelve days, and that in those twelve days they made some bonds that nobody expected to make. Traci admits that she came into this project with an attitude, and Trishelle got her wrath early on. But Traci wants Trishelle to know that she loves her very much. At this point, Traci gets choked up. She says that what Tammy said during her book signing changed Traci's life and gave her the strength to cut loose that dead person from her back that she needed to let go of. This whole talk about having dead people on their backs really heebs me out. Traci adds for the record that Ron never touched her inappropriately. I think the phone call to her fiancé where he reminded her that her actions were actually being filmed for a TV show freaked her out, and now she's backpedaling. Ron scoffs, "Don't ruin my reputation." I'm afraid this show has already done that for you, Ronnie.

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Surreal Life

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