Mr. And Mrs. John Sacrimoni Request

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 1 USERS: A
Mr. And Mrs. John Sacrimoni Request
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Rusty studies an invitation to Allegra Sacrimoni's wedding. His wife walks into the room, and he hands her the invitation, saying, "Look at this shit." Remember, Rusty was a Little Carmine loyalist, and never thought Johnny Sack should have been promoted with Big Carmine croaked. Anyway, Rusty grimaces and looks quite like the Joker. Or a frog. It's funny how some of the guys, as they get older (Paulie, Tony) are still scary and intimidating and some of the guys (Rusty, Sil) just look like caricatures of their former selves. Like, I would not find Rusty frightening, but meeting Paulie in a dark alley would cause me to pee my pants.

Six weeks later, Johnny Sack nervously waits for his lawyer to bring by a suit for him to wear in court. Johnny's lawyer requests a temporary release to attend Allegra's wedding. The prosecuter thinks the whole thing is ludicrous, but the judge agrees. However, Johnny can only get out for six hours, and must be escorted by U.S. Marshals. He also has to pay for the Marshals, the transportation, and "metal detection screening equipment." He can't drink, either. Johnny Sack quickly agrees, and his family (Ginny and their two daughters) celebrates.

Tony hires Perry Annunziata as a bodyguard and driver for his first day back at work. Carmela welcomes Perry into the house, and Tony limps in, referring to his new friend as "Muscles Marinara." Perry assures Carm that he can protect Tony, because he was "first runner-up, Mr. Teenage Bloomfield." Did that competition entail taking bullets for people and the proper use of brass knuckles? Because I don't know that posing while oiled up is going to help much with protecting a mob boss. Tony assures Carmela that everything will be fine, and they kiss goodbye.

On the drive to work, Tony checks out Perry's biceps and starts a conversation about Perry's workout regimen. Tony pretends he used to be a gym rat, before the shooting and all, claiming that "there was a time when [he] could bench over three hundred pounds." Yeah, three hundred pounds of baked ziti and chicken parm. And by "bench," I mean "eat." Some dump truck passes them, and Perry seems a little aggressive, and like he might be susceptible to road rage. And also not very bright. But he's got big muscles and wears tank tops. Tony gets Perry calmed down and they continue driving.

Tony goes back to Melfi for the first time since the shooting. Tony opens by asking for a mercy fuck. Melfi is not amused, and Tony says he's just kidding, and acts all jovial about being alive. He reveals that he hasn't spoken to Junior since the shooting, and doesn't plan to. Melfi thinks they should have a lot to talk about, but Tony blows off her concerns and keeps up the jolly front. Melfi keeps pushing, and Tony blows up and says that he might be suppressing things, but that right now he feels like each day is a gift and he doesn't want to delve into it. Tony wants to pick up where they left off, before he was hospitalized. Melfi asks about AJ, and Tony says that he flunked out of college and got a crappy job. Melfi reminds Tony that he never finished college, either. Tony thinks that a job at Blockbuster is "the first stop on the Shitbird Express." What's the last stop? I'm guessing heart attack on the toilet at age thirty-five from doing too much coke and eating a lot of binding foods. Melfi thinks that AJ could learn from Tony's mistakes. Tony says that he got "caught up in domestic violence," and it's weird to hear that term for something other than spousal abuse. Melfi says that she was talking about "the bigger picture: the ready access to guns, the use of violence to stop disputes, because of the nature of [Tony's] work, [Junior's] work." Man, Melfi doesn't exactly pussyfoot around Tony's real occupation like she used to, does she? Melfi concludes by pointing out that at least AJ has an honest job. The unspoken (or at least only heavily implied) part is "Unlike you, Mob Boy."

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