Real World
Working Hard, or Hardly…oh, you know

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Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
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Working Hard, or Hardly...oh, you know

Jazzy music plays as Dan hunts for the Ocean Drive magazine offices. Ha ha, what a hoot, he's lost, and late! Oh, how charming. Hire that young man! Dan (finally!) sits in the office of the publisher, who tells him that the magazine is all about "fashion, celebrities, pretty people...it's the pretty world." Dan nods and grins like a born-again brown-noser, and accepts a story assignment about "Know Your Doorman" or some such nonsense, saying, "I really like this magazine and I want to be a part of it." Ace of Stupid Base start up with "It's a Beautiful Life." What? What about your priorities and the whole shallow-coffee-shop equals bad-coffee-shop-thing? Hypocrisy, thy name is Dan. Mike helpfully points out this fact that Dan has in fact "sunk himself into" the very thing he once professed to want to avoid. GOT IT. Mike congratulates Dan, saying, "Good for you," and Dan says demurely, "Oh no, it's good for ALL of us!" What a fucking socialist, NOT!

At home, Melissa drools, saying, "You realize you just got my dream job, writing nightlife for Ocean Drive Magazine!" Don't rub it in, Dan. To distract Melissa, Dan dangles a pretty bauble...I mean tells her a hysterical (not) story about Mike hitting on a receptionist at Ocean Drive and getting her number. The publisher says to Mike, "Go ahead, wander around!" and he does. Do these people realize that the cameras are their passports? People crave attention, and businesses want publicity. That's it! The end. Just kidding, there's more. There's always more. God help me. But this story ends with Mike getting the digits and Melissa saying that Mike's "a hormone." Boy, can she turn a phrase.

Phone. It's Luis, for Flora. Alex hooked these two up. Luis owns a bar and tells her to come by after twelve. Later, as the whole gang gets ready to go out, Sarah informs Flora, "I can see your ass." She's wearing a skirt that's so short! Okay, stand up. Put both hands on your ass. You are now as covered as Flora is in her "skirt." Cyn says that when she goes out for a job, she's more inclined to cover herself up, but Flora? "She gets butt naked!" Sarah calls Flora "super-uninhibited." I call her a freak, but do I get to be on TV? Nooo.

Club scene, all the roomies dance. They aren't bad, really. The music is horrible though. "Shake, shake your booty for me!" Hang the DJ! Flora and Luis play footsie. By putting her arm around him and flirting, he puts her on Friday and Saturday nights. Bartending, I guess. See Dan, here's an instance in which looks don't matter as much as whoring yourself out does! Luis and Flora eat, him asking, "Does your boyfriend know you're here?" She replies, "No, does your girlfriend know you're here?" He goes, "I don't have a girlfriend," and she cannily replies, "I don't have a boyfriend." Then she offers him her hand to shake and introduces herself. "Hi, I'm Flora, a lying sleaze." In case you didn't get that, here's video of Flora saying, "Yeah, I do flirt to get a lot of things I want and need, I don't think there's anything wrong with that." The feminist movement dies a little, gurgle gurgle croak.

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