Real World
Wining And Whining

Episode Report Card
Djb: B- | Grade It Now!
Stop and Smell Deflower

The Squiggly Hip Font Of Geographical Introduction assists in letting us know that we are in "Philadelphia," but an ensuing montage of drab state-owned buildings and a sweep of some impeccably geographically rectangular high-rise office complexes makes me wonder if the folks at B/M haven't accidentally spliced in a few disparate shots from the Ohio Civic Association's much-sought-after guide to Midwest cities, "Getting To Know Your Downtown Dayton." Inside of a slow-moving van (the better to leisurely view the daily workings of life in one of America's principal cities for commerce and culture...and also to see Philadelphia!), Kameelah and Genesis field questions from Poor, Poor Anthony concerning the whereabouts of the other attending housemates: "So, either of you know what happened to Sean and Syrus?" Genesis barely grunts out a "no," and whatever comment she may have chosen to utter on this or any other matter (which, if history be our guide, was probably some odd non-sequitur of the "My mamma, she done drink the moonshine" variety) was doubtlessly edited out to account for time and narrative cohesion. Kameelah hops on the defensive, and it is immediately clear from her response that Anthony has asked this question somewhere in the area of two hundred and fifty billion times in the elapsed five seconds between the end of last week's episode and the beginning of this one. And thus she responds, "We stayed in the room all night. We went to bed." The Squiggly Hip Font Of Character Introduction takes a moment to identify a quiet and contemplative Anthony as "Anthony, Director, After School Program," so to better differentiate him from "Anthony, Trapeze Artist" or "Anthony, Personal Assistant To Bronson Pinchot" or "Anthony, Smooth Jazz Radio DJ" or "Anthony, Prime Minister Of Bosnia," so infrequently has he appeared in an episode of the Boston season EVERY SINGLE WEEK of the Boston season. Thanks for the reminder, though, Squiggly Hip Font. Otherwise I might not have recognized him at all.

Cut to...Sweet Lord McGillicuddy, another public transportation montage? Hey, Real World? If I sign an affidavit swearing that I'll never forget the fact that earthbound humans lacking the power of flight or of time travel must, indeed, move from locale to locale via certain pre-established modes of transit, will you knock off the whole "Take the train to the plane" PSA schtick already? Thanks. I'm so glad we had this talk. Now inside a moving train that serves as worse product-placement for Amtrak than a thousand Unbreakable trailers playing simultaneously, staff and volunteers and children alike writhe uncomfortably in their too-small, itchy-fabric-covered seats while Anthony paces around the car whispering, "Hey, you know what? They don't want to be a part of our team, they shouldn't be with us here. That's how I feel." Wait. Who's that guy? The one with that accent?

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Real World




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