Real World
What's Up, Doc?

Episode Report Card
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Move Along Folks, Nothing To See Here. Literally.

Water-skier. Swan. Editing room. Doc dorks Paul, David, the mannish Jen, and Paul's "writing colleague" Sherry, come to watch the footage the day before they have to screen it for the Austin Whatever Whatever. Paul asks how long it is. Neh tells him. Paul is surprised that they already have it cut down to "time." Neh hits play. They watch. Music. Music. Wow, MTV really must have a lot invested in these three bands, because we hear the shit out of them. While the doc dorks watch, grimacing, Lacey camera-chins that she thinks the doc dorks were frustrated watching because Neh's cut has "absolutely no substance." No, that's a good, constructive criticism. Very helpful. Lacey says it's fifteen minutes of "nothing" -- going on to say that it could have been "fifteen minutes of anything, and it would have been better." Okay. Okay. You're funny and snarky. We get it. The doc ends.

Paul and crew start critiquing, saying that the "characters" are gone, and that what they have now is just music videos. OMG, Rachel and Lacey were right! They go on piling comment after comment about structure and too much music and no storylines, and then Paul tells them they need to work on this pretty much nonstop for the next twenty-four hours, until the 5 PM screening the next day. Mel camera-boobs that she thinks Paul and the dorks of docs have very low expectations for the project now. Now and always. They leave, quickly trying to get away from the oppressive odor of suckage.

Austin. Bridge. Bats. Bats. Bats. Warehouse. Neh asks Johanna if she wants to come out with him, but she turns him down. Neh reveals to us that he's going to the unfortunately named club Velvet Spade because his friend is having a little jam session with his band there and he's been asked to be a "guest MC." As Rachel (Leigh) cooks, she camera-whines that they have twenty-four hours and yet Neh is going out for the night and that maybe at this point he's not the best person to rely on to fix their shitty, shitty project. We see Neh walking to the "jam session."

So Rachel and Mel decide to try to ruin...I mean, "edit" the film while Neh is gone. We get some intercutting between Neh on stage doing some terrible freestyle while Mel and Rachel do some terrible editing. Neh then smiles proudly and gives to us a very thorough musicology-based lesson in what freestyle is: "All the stuff that I'm saying, is, like, improvised. It's like, none of it is written. I just go up there and say what's on the top of my mind in the heat of the moment. I don't know, it's crazy. When I'm up there, I just transform." It's so true. He does. I barely recognized him up there -- his gap teeth, his big, stupid necklace. The genius thing is no one is there, so clearly at some point MTV runs out and wrangles about ten people to run in all at once and start dancing around the stage as Neh yells, his rhyme scheme looser and more chaotic than Courtney's Love's vagina.

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Real World




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