Real World
We Come to Dump Cesar, Not to Praise Him

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
We Come to Dump Cesar, Not to Praise Him

Melissa and her boyfriend Cesar (insert all salad, Julius/Brutus, and bad haircut jokes here) walk into a fancy Miami restaurant. Boy, Miami is pretty. That Radiohead song, "Don't leave me hiiiigh!" plays AGAIN, and I'm like, could you guys over at Bunim-Murray have sprung for a few more songs? The repetition is killing me. So, Melissa and Cesar snuggle at dinner, and she puts her head on his shoulder as he drives, and we learn that they've been dating for four months. She fell for him when he held out his hand for her to help her out of the car. Hooray for chivalry. Isn't snuggly love and dating incredibly boring for people not in it? I thought so.

Beck sings "Where it's at!" as Arnie drives up to meet Dan. Dan makes an "Rrrrr!" noise as Arnie pulls to a stop. Arnie is a criminal defense attorney, and mellow, and quiet. Dan drools, "I had to snatch him up." Nice snatch, heh. They go on their first date. Dan talks (and talks and talks and talks) about stuff, and thank goodness Arnie is into listening. Dan mentions what wonderful parents he has (aww!) and that though they were cool about him coming out, they never ask about his dates or who he's dating. Arnie manages to get in the rhetorical "whose life are you living, yours or your parents?" FINALLY Dan offers a "what about you?" to Arnie, and Arnie says he isn't out to his parents yet. Dan makes about a million faces and bugs his eyes out to here and says, "They're gonna [know] SOON!" Very true. In fact, the whole world will know soon. And we all still know! Arnie is gay. Gay gay gay!

Another business meeting. No, nothing's been decided yet. Joe says they've gotten a lot of "cool info" from the city about Florida business statutes, tax laws, blah blah blah paperworkcakes. Only Sarah asks to see it. The others look as blank as chalkboards in August. In voice-over Joe says, "People should wanna know this stuff." Oh, but they don't, and you're frustrated, and nothing's happening yet? WE. GOT. IT. When Joe asks if there's any new business, Cynthia says yeah, they need to organize a cleaning crew because the house is a mess. That makes Joe sad. He meant new business stuff, not house stuff! Oh, boo hoo.

Oh man, it's that damn Mariah Carey song AGAIN! Melissa, Cesar, and Cyn are all driving somewhere, and Melissa is saying how she wanted Cesar for so long, and that it took forever to get him, and he pulls out chairs and opens doors and GIRL! And Cyn says Melissa should hold on to him then. Cesar calls Melissa his "precious little diamond." Gack.

1 2 3 4 5 6Next

Real World




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP