Real World
Two Parties and a Funeral

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Sep: D | Grade It Now!
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Two Parties and a Funeral

We start off in the kitchen, where Puck is inviting Judd to go to his soapbox derby premiere party. This charming fĂȘte, that will feature a video performance of said derby, is to be held at a local bar on Sunday. In an interview, Puck says that the soapbox derby is "what [he's] about." He saves Bunim-Murray's crack editing team the trouble of having to use multiple interviews to reiterate the same point by repeating it no less than twice in the span of a minute.

Credits. At this point, I just want to slap Rachel every time I see her brush her hair behind her shoulder. And don't even ask what I plan to do to the perpetrator of that idiotic laugh -- just as soon as I figure out who it is.

Puck is riding through the city, dragging his racer behind him, singing the slinky theme song. It's an exhausting journey from 24th and Mission all the way to the Marina, and by the time the car is deposited in the garage, he's lying in the driveway. Puck talks his car up to Judd for a while, and then lets us in on a bit of information that most of the population has been in possession of since grade school -- information can be found in, get this, libraries. In the immortal words of Puck, "If you're smart, you know, you just go look it up." Indeed.

The Dudd voice-over narrates a scene of Dudd primping, sans shirt (my eyes!), telling us that he's in the middle of a romantic "dry spell." Which he talks about. A lot. Some of the other housemates are even annoyed by it, but Dudd says, "So what? I'm looking to meet somebody." Unluckily for me, Mohammed has a friend staying with him, who brings another friend, who has the poor taste to spend more than a minute in Dudd's company. Her actual name is Jeanine, but Bing-O is her name-O, if you get my meaning. She and Dudd are sitting on the couch, co-dependently bonding through their recent been-dumped status. This is not going to be pretty, people. Although, the way this conversation is edited, it's hard to get a handle on what they're talking about. Judd will say something and Bing-O will answer to an obviously different question, interspersed with shots of Pam, sitting at the bar, grinning like an idiot. I don't have that good a grasp on the layout of the house, but I have the sneaking suspicion that they're editing two different scenes together to make it look like Pam really cares about who Dudd is interested in. To drive that point home, we are treated to an interview with Pam, who loses major points when she says, "I think that the girls in the house kinda look out for Judd...and I think it's partially because we do like him a lot." Bing-O, all non-sequitur-like, says that she's "happier now," and that there are a "few good men out there." Judd, in a moment of self-delusion and self-importance of Dawsonian proportions, says, "Thank you. We try." Now we get footage of Dudd walking Bing-O out to the car, with the Dudd confessional narrating the action all the while. The upshot of it is Bing-O spreads her arms wide, and Dudd's head is wedged between her shoulder and her head. No kiss. All I can say is, thank you sweet Jesus, I will see you at church on Sunday. Meanwhile, the Dudd confessional tells us that he's "embarrassed" by the hug goodbye. "She wanted to kiss me! And I choked!" Presumptuous much?

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Real World

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